Graffiti No Longer Entertains Masses

The Internet Age has really zapped people's creativity, hasn't it? Even graffitied bus stop signage is no longer interesting or funny. Rather, it's just strange. Example: this sign from a DC metro area bus stop. If I were going to toy with a Google sign, researching "cross-dresser midget porn," "furry porn" or "jello porn" would be way more entertaining, and way more inventive, than this silly crap.

The Vodka Project: Take Four

Another weekend and another round of vodka tasting. We sipped two of the very few American-made vodkas -- Tito's Handmade (an Austin, TX pot-still vodka) and Hangar One (a young Cali vodka born in 2001) -- versus Chopin, a traditional Polish potato vodka.

As in previous tastings, we tasted each vodka straight up with an ice cube, with soda, and in a mixed cocktail (a lemonade-chambord cocktail as in previous rounds). Two females and one male got drunk, er, um, I mean tasted with much thought and commentary.

Winner of the night: Hangar One
We didn't expect it, but the the sweetness of this vodka straight up and with soda won over our small crowd. All three tasters ranked this vodka tops in the three categories, with us especially enjoying this vodka mixed with soda.

Loser of the night: Chopin
While not as bad as some previous vodkas we've tasted (vodkas that shall remain nameless), this tater tot-based vodka was not a favorite. One taster noted this vodka "smelled faintly of a public restroom" and another said "this isn't as good as mashed potatoes." With comments like this, no wonder there is no deep love.

Overall, Hangar One is a reliable choice in your next bar setting. Tito's Homemade was noted to be a smooth and decent vodka, but if you have a choice, ask for Hangar One.

Note to readers: after we make it through the mainstream vodkas you see at your local bar, we'll be doing a "championship round." Don't miss it -- this really is a public service!

Snakes on a TV

This makes me laugh no matter how many times I listen to it.

This poor SF Chronicle subscriber just wants to watch Nancy Grace, but all he can find on Channel 57 are "some dumb snakes crawling all over the television when it is time to go to bed." Huh??? Plus he missed Geraldo?!? I'd be upset, too!

Morning Stank

Yeah, here we are again with another food-related gadget, but at least this time it's unique, useful and zany. Here we have the "Wake 'n Bacon," a devilish device that awakes sleeping beauties with the aroma of a cooking cured pork product. Pretty funny, huh? Well, this is just a prototype, as the inventor-in-chief is looking for a manufacturer, so don't rush out with your gold card just yet.

Honoring a Great Man

It's a sad day. The inventor of the TV remote control died today. This man was truly a patriot. When TV was in its earliest (and obviously crappiest) stages, he toiled long hours so that millions around the world could sit on their collective asses and and bask in the glow of television. In 1956 when the Zenith Space Command remote control was debuted, did he imagine the almost 400 channels that are available today? I'm guessing not. Frankly, in my book, he stands next to the inventor of TV as one of the world's greatest people ever.

3-in-1 Breakfasts Are Dumb

I'm convinced there is an idiotic new kitchen item unveiled every week (and some previous examples have been mentioned right here). This week it's a ridiculous yet amusing all-in-one breakfast genie. Do people really need an appliance that makes a complete breakfast? And how does lunch feel about this? I mean, a tuna melt and coffee makes a great lunch but no one ever mentions that! Lunch gets no respect. Anyway, if the inventor of this monstrosity gets rich off this, I'll be really pissed...

Hooray for laziness!

Sometimes you just don't feel like walking the rest of the way home. This guy didn't, and did something about it.

This drones on a bit...

Elle and I love us a good rant. Especially when it is directed at the evil liberal print media! And given that this rant relates to unmanned aerial vehicles (a secret passion of mine in a former life), the synergies were too much not to blog about.

The San Francisco Chronicle recently decided to have a little fun with its angry readership by turning readers' phone calls into a wacky podcast. In this pilot (no pun intended) episode, a word-wise reader bitches out the editors of the paper for their use of the tautology "pilotless drone" as a synonym for UAV. For shame!

And in a first for STSS, I have linked below to a fun music video somebody made of the call. Enjoy!

Power to the Napkin

I'm happy to report the infamous "napkin notes" of Bruiser and my college experience is still alive and kicking at our alma mater's sister college. Apparently the wacky and witchy Bryn Mawr chicks are complaining via napkin notes (notes written on brown, recycled paper napkins while eating rice krispie treats made in a bowl at the tasty Rhodes dining hall) that they dislike the new mtvU TVs in their dining halls. (For those of you beyond college years, mtvU is a college-oriented network showing music videos and info about social-change from campuses across the country.) It's rather typical of Mawrters to complain about something as non-threatening as TV. They'd more likely rather see a witches-and-warlocks network or the un-fashionable fashions network. However, if you read to the end of the story, one Mawrter provides hope that not all strange lurkers of the Mawr will be societal freaks.

Vodka Tasting - Part Tres

Yes, my friends and I drank a lot again, but we did it for YOU. We're tasting more vodka so that you can select the perfect base for your next cocktail. This round included three females and one male. Again, we're tasting the classic plain vodkas straight up, with soda and in a cocktail. However different from other rounds, we didn't compare the "cheapies" to the "pricies." Instead, we just went vodka by vodka in no particular order.

The lineup: Skyy, Stoli, Grey Goose, Ketel One, Level and Effen.

Crappiest vodka of the evening: Level
The vodka designated by manufacturer Absolut as "beyond smooth" is more like "beyond crap" to us. This was the lowest scoring vodka in all categories by all tasters. "Bad and wrong" and "My mouth waters to get rid of it" were just a few comments about how ass-tastic this vodka tastes. At the evening's conclusion, we were wondering how to use the leftover Level. Most likely it will be pushed onto less discriminating friends at an upcoming fiesta.

Curiously delectable vodka of the evening: Ketel One
Ketel One was the big winner of the "flavored" tasting (see Vodka Tasting - Part Uno), and it scores high yet again. All tasters were impressed in all categories by the Ketel, noting it's "the cleanest one we've had thus far." We were especially surprised that Ketel One was drinkable straight up, a category several tasters typically don't enjoy exploring.

Cheapskate vodka winner of the evening: Skyy
While tasters don't think it's as tasty as the fine Finlandia, as a "we're drinkin' cheap" vodka, Skyy did well this round. Tasters did not have deep positive or negative feelings towards Skyy. It performed best in the "with soda" category.

Other thoughts to note: The plain Stoli was only decently rated in the mixed cocktail category. Tasters exclaimed "Smells like college!" and "Fumes!" in response to the Stoli straight up and with soda. Surprisingly, Grey Goose did not perform as highly as its price and reputation. On average, it finished below Effen, Skyy and Ketel One. One experienced vodka taster expressed a "Yech!" when drinking the Goose.

Don't worry! This isn't the last installation of vodka tasting. If you can believe it, we still have popular brands Chopin, Citradelle and Hanger One to sample, along with others.

Passing of Bam Bam Bigelow

I just learned that Bam Bam Bigelow passed away. Heck of a wrestler. I remember being impressed by him when I first saw him as a wrestler for WWF and years later was glad to catch him working for ECW.

I did a quick You Tube search for one of his fights, and decided I'd link to this one because it has him wrestling Nikolai Volkoff. Very clear who is the heel here. Nobody likes a Soviet-era Russian. Rocky IV taught us that. Unless, of course, that Russian is Yakov Smirnoff. We like him, because he helps keep the Branson, MO economy vibrant with his wacky stage show.

Creamy Goodness

American Idol, in typical fashion, is whoring its brand once again. This time it's ice cream. Actually, the "Take the Cake" flavor sounds damn good. However, I really think some better flavors would have been "Silky Simon Sundae" or "Peppermint Poppin' Paula" or even better "Razzy Ripple Randy."

Big Big Brother problem

I would have skipped right past this new item if I hadn't experienced first hand last year Brits' love of their version of the Big Brother reality show. They eat it up. More than we obsess over American Idol. They not only run the show multiple times a week -- they have recap and chat shows devoted entirely to the show!

Anywho, jolly old England is now enjoying a celebrity version of the show (among the D-list stars we Yanks would recognize are Jermaine Jackson and Dirk Benedict, of A-Team fame). Unfortunately, the show has been tainted by bad relations between some of the contestants and their Bollywood star housemate. Enough to cause something of an international incident.

Let's hope we never get this worked up over Beauty and the Geek.

Further proof that Germans have a weird sense of humor

It isn't news that our friends in Germany love the stylings of Mr. David Hasslehoff. But yesterday I learned that they also have a strange appreciation of British humor. The LA Times printed an article recently about the German tradition of watching a short British comedy sketch which, oddly enough, has never been aired on British TV. I'll admit that it is pretty funny. But why do the Germans love it so? Yet another of life's mysteries, perhaps.

I guess Germans also love Legos. Though everyone loves Legos, so that isn't really surprising.

MLK remembered...sort of

Nobody ever confused us for a country of history scholars. WashPost reports today that a disturbing number of US college kids think Martin Luther King, Jr. was an abolitionist. Well, I'm sure he would have been anti-slavery if that had been the pressing issue of his time. So I guess these idiots aren't totally wrong.

And for more fun with distorted history, look no further than our fearless leader (OK, so it's a parody).

Fried Crowns

The fast food industry never ceases to amaze me. First, there was the Taco Bell double-decker taco, the greatest combination of beans, tortilla, and taco ever created. Now, there are the crown-shaped "chicken" nuggets. The tights-wearing King at your local Burger King is now frying up these shapely breaded goodies for everyone, not just kids, via the value menu. I think we all know what you'll be doing with your next $1...especially since it's about the closest thing we'll all get to royalty.

Vodka Tasting - Part Deux

There's no better way to start 2007 than with our latest vodka tasting update! Oh sure, you may be hung over now, but by the weekend a quality cocktail will be required. In case you've been on another planet and missed vodka tasting numero uno, my friends and I have devoted ourselves to finding the perfect vodka for every cocktailing occasion (and to save you from plastic-bottle Gordon's vodka when you're at a loss for what vodka to request).

Anywhoodle (as "Goddess" would say), the second round of vodka tasting focused on the utilitarian plain/unflavored vodka. Our method for tasting this round was to pin "cheapie" vodkas (cheap, but not arriving in a plastic bottle) against each other, and then move to three "pricies" head-to-head. As in the previous round, we tasted each vodka straight up, then with seltzer, and finally mixed in a cocktail. This tasting included two females and one male.

Cheapies Lineup: Smirnoff vs. Finlandia
Results: The Smirnoff was reported by all tasters to have an odd sweetness and medicinal taste, thus giving it the lower overall score. By comparison, Finlandia had a clean, nondescript, and smooth flavor that the group found to be pleasant straight up, with seltzer and in a cocktail.

Pricies Lineup: Belvedere vs. Ciroc vs. Blue Ice
Results: Ciroc easily leads the pack with its high scores in all categories. This French grape-based vodka was a crowd-pleaser, with one mentioning its hint of citrus flavor. We were most dispointed with Belvedere, with one taster succinctly exclaiming that it's "nasty, nasty shit." I think we all agreed after noting the vodka's medicinal quality and general ass-tastic-ness. Blue Ice performed best in a mixed cocktail, but generally the group felt so-so toward this American vodka.

Overall thoughts: Your everday, go-to vodka should be Finlandia. Lacking an overpowering flavor, it lends well to tasty mixed drinks without breaking the bank. For your next vodka and soda, all tasters gave Ciroc with soda the highest scores. Ciroc has a pleasant flavor that comes through nicely with just soda. Finally, we were deeply disturbed by the disgusting flavor of Belvedere and urge the world at large to avoid it at all times.

Blender's Worst List

Blender Magazine recently listed their worst artists in music history. While this is a pretty good rundown, there are a few problems:
1. Calling many of these people "artists" is just wrong. Do you really consider Master P to be an artist? Same for Whitesnake? I think not.
2. 98 Degrees rules! How can you not like the underdog boy band with cutie Nick Lachey?
3. Ranking Yanni #15 is way too low. He should be ranked #2, right after the pan flute-playing guy on the infomercials.
4. Jamiroquai!?!? On THIS list? Come on people. His tunes are fun, dancey and catchy.
5. No band that has performed on an episode of 90210 should be included on this list, so Color Me Badd needs to be exchanged for Fergie or J.C. Chasez cuz they really do blow.
6. Where is Josh Groban on this list? He is an affront to all humanity. He really should stop torturing old women.

However, I applaud Blender for not forgetting the crimes against humanity delivered by Celine "Horsey Girl" Dion, the Gypsy "We Are Trying to be Exotic" Kings, Creed, Michael "I Should Have a Hairball" Bolton, Kenny "Nothing I Play is Even Close to Jazz" G and Lee "I Get Rednecks on Their Feet to Salute" Greenwood. And mostly, thank you, Blender, for including Vanilla Ice. May I never have to see or hear his only famous song karaoke'd ever again.

Super Yum Pops

It's true. I may be a little intrigued with ways to work alcohol into typically unalcoholic food products. Everyone has a hobby. For instance, last night some friends and I were considering the possibility of pudding shots (instead of the normal jello shots), as pudding is way higher class and more mature than jello.

So today I stumble upon Freaky Ice. Not only does it have a funky name, but these new ice pops are also an ingenious way to consume alcohol with fun flavors like Lemon Stinger, Cherry Fusion, and Passion Cocktail. More importantly, its transportable for those specials days you just can't be lazily watching bad tv.

The inventor of this product should seriously be considered for the next Nobel Prize. Innovation like this needs to be rewarded.

I *Heart* The Bell

Can you imagine ever eating $12,500 worth of Taco Bell? Have you already eaten $12,500 in double decker tacos in your lifetime? If so, I applaud you. Anyway, The Hell is offering $12,500 in Taco Bell bucks if you donate that Playstation 3 you just slashed someone at Wal Mart for. I'm serious. I could totally wait until later for a PS3 if I got a lifetime supply of calories. Just think of the party you could throw...

All Hail the Cocktail!

Just as I'm convinced there is a trade or professional association for everything, there is now a museum for everything. Fortunately, this museum is for something good, and it shares valuable information like, "Martha Washington enjoyed daily toddys. In the 1790s, "happy hour" began at 3:00 p.m. and cocktails continued until dinner." If happy hour only began at 3pm in the 21st century...the world might be a more relaxed, peaceful and happy place. Certain world leaders should consider this fine thought....

Short cuts...

My blog buddy and I have been slacking lately, so I thought I'd try to make up for our lack of recent activity with a few fun links to bide your time until we feel inspired to write again:

-- Like those Apple ads with the Mac guy and the PC guy? You'll like them even more in Japanese!

-- Here's a fun NPR story on election ads and the guys who do the voice-overs for them.

-- Someone sent me a link to this video the other day. I actually had this album in junior high.

-- Jagshemash! I thought the movie was a little flat, but here are some of Borat's greatest hits.

McCreepy

McDonalds' McRib sammich has creeped me out for at least two decades. Perhaps it's because the McRib in no way resembles an actual rib, and I fear the lab where this was created? Or maybe it's the pickles on the sammich, which seem like an odd condiment for any rib-like product. Anyway, a few years ago Mickey D's said they were axing this craptastic sammich for good. However, due to "popular demand," McRib is back for its Farewell Tour Part Deux. Who are these people who "demand" to eat this psuedo-pork McCrappy sammich? It's best to just blame it on Republicans...no other explanation makes sense.

Toasting to Soaps

Never would I have expected Susan Lucci and Tim Russert to be in the same room together, let alone me be in the room too! Yet, just this week, they were side-by-side at the "Broadcasting & Cable's Hall of Fame Dinner" in NYC. Following Mayor Bloomberg's quip about appearing on "All My Children" a few years back (um, yeah, I'm not even commenting on how that's creepy), TV's Erica Kane invited ole Tim to guest star on "All My Children" as well. Would he play her reincarnated love interest? A baby thief? Her long lost sister who had a sex change?

This is Me

I saw this photo* yesterday and I was reminded of myself. This is how I feel a lot of evenings as I surf cable's finest programming options and ponder my uber-white skin. Argh.

*Photo altered slightly for beer preference.

Frozen Breakfast

Bacon is often celebrated as a mythical food; a delicacy with a deeply devout following. Late night banter between bacon lovers often produces dreams of new ways to eat the salty strips. So, because of recent chatter surrounding the possibility of bacon ice cream, my SO and I took on the challenge and created Breakfast Ice Cream. This tasty treat is homemade maple ice cream with small chunks of frozen pancakes and crispy bacon pieces. It truly is a frozen breakfast. I'll go out on a limb and say it's truly original. Ben & Jerry will be knocking down the doors any day now.

This man frightens boy scouts!

Heck, boy scouts have a right to be frightened in a world plagued by rouge helicopters and sports arenas without competing tenants.

Confused? Listen to the gospel according to David Thompson.

Dreams do come true!

So I happened to be browsing recent wrestling results on PWTorch.com when I happened upon this little tidbit -- a former Real World kid is now a WWE wrestler! Mike Mizanin of "Real World 10: Back to New York" has managed to turn his "The Miz" character into the latest wacky crossover in sports entertainment. I guess all those appearances on RW/RR Challenges just weren't paying the bills. We here at STSS wish The Miz the best of luck!

Vodka Tasting - Numero Uno: Battle of the Flavors

A few friends and I have dedicated ourselves to finding the perfect vodka for every occasion. It is not an easy task, as we must subject ourselves to several rounds of sipping many selections. First we must taste each vodka straight up (with an optional ice cube), then each vodka with seltzer, and lastly each vodka in some type of mixed cocktail.

This round included three females and one male. All pledged their devotion and excitement for the event. And, following the event's conclusion, all pledged to participate in future tastings.

Tasting Numero Uno: Citrus and Vanilla Vodkas

Lineup - Part A: Ketel One Citroen versus Absolut Citron
(mixed cocktail for this round: vodka, cranberry and a tad of limeade....named last evening the "East-West Highway")
Winner - Part A: Ketel One easily wins the straight, with seltzer and with mixer categories. Due to how sucky Absolut tasted versus Ketel One, we have all signed contracts banning Absolut Citron from our lives, unless we're serving it to large dumb groups or people we don't really like. One taster repeatedly commented about the "Lemon Pledgey-ness" of the Absolut. The group unanimously thought the Ketel One was very smooth in the mixed cocktail.

Lineup - Part B: Solti Vanilla versus Absolut Vanilla
(mixed drink for this round: vodka and Coke Zero)
Winner - Part B: Stoli Vanilla wins the with selzter category, but Absolut Vanilla wins in the mixed drink category. Absolut Vanilla seemed to hide the fake sweetener in the Coke Zero better than the Stoli. So diet drinkers: heed the warning!

Next up: Battle of the plain vodkas. Stay tuned.

Butt-toucher

I love this ad. In case our audience hasn't seen it, I offer it here. Because I am to please.

Tokyo Report - Part 1

Call it good luck. Call it karma. Call it divine intervention. Whatever it was, it was pretty cool.

There I was in the lobby of my hotel in Tokyo last week when a friend says to me, “Hey, that’s Antonio Inoki!”

Before you ask, let me explain that Antonio Inoki was only one of the very best Japanese pro-wrestlers in recorded history. So famous that he once battled Mohammed Ali! And was in a Bad News Bears movie! And then, just to keep them guessing, he became a member of parliament for a while (the Japanese national parliament, not Parliament Funkadelic, though that would be pretty cool too…). He’s even met Saddam Hussein!

Alas, Mr. Inoki quickly boarded a waiting limo and disappeared into the night before I had a chance to snap a photo. But I now include him in an ever-growing list of pro-wrestling legends I have encountered, however briefly, in civilian life:

• John Kronos of The Eliminators – I bumped into him and his daughter at Geno’s Steaks in South Philly. Nice guy.
  
• The Great Sasuke – Another wrestler/politician. I even got his business card!
• Detox – A neighbor of mine growing up. He didn’t look like this then.
• Some buff lady wrestler from Kentucky – I wish I could remember her name. She kindly took photos with me and my friends at a pro-wrestling event we attended in a local gymnasium. She said she worked during the week as a bouncer in a Tokyo gaijin bar.
  

Stayin' Alive

With all the Congressman Foley madness running rampant in DC, I am obliged to post some new song lyrics penned by a stroke of genius today. The side photo inspired these lyrics. (And for those who don't know, the other guy in the photo is Michael Brown, otherwise known as "Brownie" to George Bush. He's the former FEMA director who was "doing a great job" when the administration was, um, "forgetting" about a big hurricane.)

The new "Stayin' Alive" written by "Professor Callahan":

Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk,
I'm a pompous man: no time to talk.
Broken levies, pages warm, we sucked a silver spoon
When we were born.
And now it's all right. It's ok.
And you may look the other way.
We can surely understand
ABC news' effect on man.

Whether I'm a cruiser or whether I'm a boozer,
I'm stayin alive, stayin alive.
Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin',
But were stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive.

Well now, you get low and I get high,
And I roll my pants and I stay dry.
Got the seed of pages on my shoes.
Dirty old men... just cant lose.
You know it's all right. It's ok.
I'll live to see another day.
And we don't give a hot goddamn...
'Bout ABC's effect on man.

Whether I'm a cruiser or whether I'm a boozer,
I'm stayin alive, stayin alive.
Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin',
But were stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive.

You're goin' nowhere. But we won't help you.
Nobody helps you, yeah.
You're goin' nowhere. But we won't help you.
Good luck, good luck on stayin' alive.

Benefits of the Job

Did you know that no one physically controls the cameras when The Weather Channel is live on tv? It's true! This is one of the fun facts I learned when I got a tour of The Weather Channel studios today. Some dude sitting at a computer moves the cameras. Hilarious! All the people forecasting the weather are sitting in the middle of the studio feeding the on-air people info, who are usually right in front of their version of a newsroom.

And check out this guy...I met him (apparently his name is Marshall, not that I knew this before looking him up on the Internet moments ago) and he is just as cheesy as he looks in this photo. In fact, if you were watching TWC between 9:30 and 10am this morning, you would have seen me walk through the studio behind my new friend Marshall! Ha!

I also learned that the female weather people on tv have stalkers! Apparently there are some weirdos out there who try and stalk these chicks. Ahhh...better add "weather" to the list of fetishes in the world...

Thanks, WB

The "WB" is my favorite double entendre this week as it's quite ironic that I need to say thanks to a few WBs at the same time.

First, I'd like to thank the World Bank for telling me not to vacation in Somalia or East Timor because of terrorism, armed conflict and epidemic disease (the WB released a new report on places not to travel). YUM! While I was considering these locations for my next exotic canoeing adventure, I will now refocus my efforts into vacationing in Iraq, which strangely is not listed. Umm...I can't even fathom how Iraq is a safe and fun place to grab some marginally fresh meat kabobs and see some blown-up historical sites right now.

As for the other WB, the fine WB network, I must say thanks for the memories. The WB this week will evolve into the CW -- the pulling together of UPN and WB shows into a "new" network. So, thank you for the sappy teen drama with dialogue written specifically for an adult audience (Dawson's Creek). And thanks for sharing the tales of a whiney college student in the big city (Felicity). The countless hours I've wasted (and now continue to waste - thank you Noggin for bringing me DC) made life that much happier for me.

All Hail the Nyfork!

Continuing my fascination with bizarre kitchen products (especially ones that are pimped on late night TV), I stumbled across the Nyfork today. Could this be the world's most perfect eating utensil? No longer do I have to remember to bring the knife AND fork to my table (coffee table that is -- America's favorite place to dine). I really hope to soon see the Nyfork's infomercial. I must learn how many different things this special utensil can cut, cuz I eat pizza with my own greasy fingers (no word on when they will get their own infomercial).

Everyone's Favorite Cousin

Do you remember Cousin Oliver? Well I certainly do, being the "Brady Bunch" junkie that I am. A certain significant other of mine wouldn't have a clue if I made a reference to Cousin Oliver in passing, but not all of us can be weened on TV. Still, I find making these bizarre TV references part of my life. Anyway, just thought I'd share a "blast from the past" interview with him from today's Post. Funny stuff.

I love the Internet. I love classic TV. And I love the Washington Post, the big city, national paper without feeling the need to act high and mighty.

On furries and wrestling...

OK, so I don't think these people technically qualify as furries/fursuiters, but they come pretty close...

This past weekend I decided to take in a bit of culture and caught a show by a little performance art troupe called Kaiju Big Battel (video). Basically it entails a bunch of adults dressed in Power Ranger-meets-Godzilla monster-esque costumes fighting in a pro wrestling ring, complete with elaborate back-stories and a punk rock soundtrack (the opening act was the "Japanese Action Comic Punk" band Peelander-Z -- catch them live at the old ECW Arena on 8/26!). Good guys! Bad guys! A Joey Styles-esqe commentator! Wacky props (the first match involved scaling a 12' paper mache Empire State Building)! Talk about sensory overload.

Even better was the sold-out crowd. Imagine a weird, overly-tatooed hybrid of the crowd of a Ramones show genetically-spliced with the attendees of a ComicCon. And add a few families for good measure. And a few furries (not part of the show, but fans who took it upon themselves to bring their own costumes).

A good time was had by all.

Oh, and while I'm on the subject of furries, Liane Hansen had a guest on Weekend Edtion Sunday this week who has done a little research in the furry phenomenon. Furry is the flavor of the week!

What will geeks think of next?

I found this on Google Video this evening, not knowing anything about the context. Seems the song is from Avenue Q and the images are from the "massively-multiplayer online role-playing game" (MMORPG, in geek-speak) World of Warcraft.

Pretty funny stuff. Hooray for witty dorks!

Microsoft top brass is sooooo declasse...

A little bird sent me this today, pointing out that Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer had taken a page out of Howard Dean's playbook. I don't agree. It is more like Ballmer was trying to prove that he is indeed the whacked-out love child of Dean and CNBC loudmouth Jim Cramer. And if you thought that was bad, take a look at how much this man can sweat. Eeeewwwww!!!

Kids Love Millionaires!

Never in a million years would I have imagined that my multi-gazillionaire former employer would be signing a kid's head. But heck, I guess it is a lot more likely than him signing someone's ass. Perhaps the office "autopen" should be sent out to sign other body parts...or even better, perhaps an official "Jay Rock" tatoo needs to be created and sold!

The Whole World Loves Infomercials

Flipping through the satellite channels (grr...satellite bad...cable good) at a beachside Turkish hotel, I found the holy grail -- a Magic Bullet infomercial! While it has been renamed "Merlin" for European audiences, I was equally dazzled in Turkey (just as I was here at home) by the fruit smoothies the "bullet" whipped and the onions it chopped.

To even further heighten my brief TV viewing, the next channel I flipped to was a "find God" informercial. I know super Jesus people like to take their message to the world and all, but taking their message to a non-Christian oriented country? I wish them luck.

I would have opted for a Bob Schieffer theme, but...

This isn't new news, but it still makes me laugh so I thought I should share.

Apparently in these great United States there exists this cool little kid who insisted on a "Jim Lehrer News Hour" theme for his 3rd birthday party. This might make him an outcast among the pre-school crowd, but he's a hero in my book. And it'll be great fodder for his college application essay in about 15 years.

So Long TV Genius

Before it gets too late, I must pay homage to the recently departed Aaron Spelling. His dream of creating television dramas aimed at teens/twentysomethings certainly brought much joy to my life over the years. Although I enjoyed the antics of a wacky cruise ship crew, it wasn't until Brandon, Brenda, Dylan and Kelly graced my screen that I knew Spelling really spelled "genius."

Thank you, Aaron, for delighting me with the sagas of rich California kids for the last 14 years (yes, 90210 is still on - check out the SOAP network daily). And thank you, Aaron, for bringing a new era of trashy soap TV via "Melrose Place" for my generation. Without you, my hours of couch potatoing would have been full of just sitcoms.

Note: We will not comment about a certain lame "family-oriented" show on the WB that Mr. Spelling is also credited as producing. His legacy should really try to separate him from that piece of ultimate dullness.

Threesome Fun

Props go out to television network TV Land for their "Three's Company" marathon over the weekend. More than 48 hours of threesome fun definitely brightened my rainy days. I had forgotten how much I loved the antics of Mr. Furley and Larry. Although I watched this show in reruns as a youngster, viewing it as an adult brought about many questions, such as:

1. Why would two women in their 20's (if not their 30's) want to share a bedroom and sleep in a twin bed?
2. Did people really pretend in the years 1977 -1984 that women never had sex in their bedroom?
3. Did Janet go to college? (We know Jack was in the Navy and then went to cooking school.)
4. Can three people really share a bathroom ALL the time?
5. Why didn't the gang ever get drunk at the Regal Beagle? They always went, but there was no drunkenness.
6. How old was this gang really supposed to be? They seem older than 27.
7. Where was the TV? Their living room had no TV, and that seems sad.
8. Why didn't we ever see them go to the beach? They lived in southern Cali, but we only saw the gang in very few locations.

Elle Meets the Next President!

The South is a weird place -- and yes, Richmond is really the South. A few drinks after a friend's wedding turned into quite a political romp as my gang met up with suprise hotel guest, future presidential candidate Mark Warner. He was a very nice fellow decked out in jeans and a polo shirt. He gets my non-Hillary vote.

But our brush with Virginia political fame wasn't the most exciting event at the Jefferson Hotel on Saturday evening. The Virginia Republican Party was having their annual gala dinner at the same time Mark Warner's presidential support group was having a weekend meeting. Unfortunately, the historic hotel's rotunda area did not turn into a ECW wrestling arena with the Dems table-slamming and chair-bashing some old southern, drunk Republicans.

America's Secret Club

America's favorite TV show has a secret fan club. There are thousands of people who rush home every Tuesday night to watch "American Idol," yet their family, friends and coworkers have no idea what they are doing between 8 and 9pm. "I need to go do my laundry" and "I need to feed my goldfish" are some excuses that are floated around 7:55pm on Tuesdays. Haven't you noticed the people who dash away from the water cooler as soon as the Katharine's knee-humping is mentioned?

This secret fan club exists because I know them. I know they they hide amongst us. Yet, it isn't until after several drinks that their club membership is revealed when they opine about the gray-haired man shaking his moneymaker.

Why are people afraid to admit they like the cutting comments from Simon? Why do they hide the fact that they can't live without seeing Paula's nightly live TV insaity? Don't these people realize that there are few of us who can resist the utter cheese that brings America so much joy?

Next question for next time...Why are there "American Idol" haters out there? How can anyone hate something so simple and wholesome as a singing show?

Don't Mess With Burritos

This is where I draw the line. Obviously the US faces some serious immigration issues, but damnit, don't mess with burritos! Next to the quesadilla, the burrito may be the world's perfect food (quesadillas are a little better because they are primarily queso). The warm, thick flour tortilla is but a blank palate for an endless array of tasty latin flavors. America's flavor-challenged Anglo-Saxon background could never create such beautiful dish. Perfectly folded in the one of the world's best bread products, the burrito is worthy of saving for a future of well-fed Americans.

So, take away the taquitos. Eliminate the egg rolls. Stamp out schnitzel. Kick out the kim-chi. But please, battle for the wonderous burrito!

Smokin' Tinis

My co-blogger and I were both in America's most boring city, St. Louis, this month. While Bruiser hit up the International Bowling Hall of Fame, I sought the Arch city's most secret treat -- the smoking martini. A self-defined cocktail expert, I have not seen a lovely pink smoking pomegranate martini in my many cocktailing escapades around the country. So, while St. Louis may have little to offer in terms of unique culture (outside of bowling, of course), the town does have the only smoking martini I've ever seen. Thank you oh wonderous dry ice...and I hope other places take a cue and make our martinis a little more frisky. [Note to readers: The cocktail smoked more when I first got it. I was just slow on the photographing. Blame it on the 'tinis I guess.]

Language learning made fun!

Those 8:00 AM foreign language classes in college would have been much more fun if we used texts like the one described in this blog entry. I'm sure any Japanese who studied from this book would blend right in in "da hood".

So, thank you, Randall C. Miller, Jr. You are a valuable asset to the field of cross-cultural communication. And you wear that do-rag well.

Yay Tori!

As one of 90210's biggest fans, I must give a brief shout-out to the new Tori Spelling show "So NoTorious." Full of wacky pop culture references (including famous episodes of 90210), Tori Spelling takes direct aim on her own life and makes fun of herself and her family. It's legitimately sassy, giggle-worthy and fun, something most other TV shows should consider as important ingredients. And, Tori's hair and outfits are pretty normal and attractive, something that can't be said of Donna Martin.

But this show is more than laughs. "So NoTorious" not only redeems Tori Spelling from a Wikipedia entry noting that she is a washed-up actress, but also redeems VH1 from showing hours and hours of crap everyday. VH1 bores cable subscribers with celebrity gossip shows that have no gossip and additional seasons of the "Surreal Life," a show I'm convinced no one watches (and I know a lot of people who watch a lot of crap). Is there a more boring channel than VH1, other than TNT showing continous reruns of "Law and Order"?

Love and Hate at Wal-Mart

I have a love-hate relationship with Wal-Mart. I hate how they force retailers to package things how they want it, censor fine rap music, put small businesses in the toilet, treat their fine employees and lack high-end bottled water. On the other hand, a Wal-Mart Supercenter (especially the fine Supercenter in Martinsburg, WV where they even have seltzer - a rare find for Wal-Mart) is really the only place in America where there is everything that you need. Beer, prescription drugs, guns, somewhat trendy clothes made of crappy fabric in China, $2.50 DVDs, and all things camoflauge...its all under one roof.

I was reminded of my love-hate feelings this morning when I read a story of a guy who lives in a Wal-Mart for a few days. This real-life story is even better than the crappy Natalie Portman flick where she gives birth in a Wal-Mart (how that didn't ruin her career, I just don't know).

What's in a name?

For those of us who don't live on the Internet plotting ways to keep Chicken Little around a little longer on American Idol, I thought I should let you know about the latest craze.

"Snakes on a Plane" looks to be the multiplex hit of the summer. Even without a trailer or substantial official website yet, this movie has some serious buzz. So much buzz that NPR ran a story on it today. To really appreciate how sick people are for this otherwise probably crappy movie, take a look at this arguably obsessive fan site -- Snakes on a Blog.

Again, kudos to The Houseguests for having clued me into this pop culture phenom.

And if you have a lot of free time, watch Ultimate Showdown again to see (and finally understand why) Sam Jackson gets the smackdown by a few pythons during the second chorus.

My Target 'tis of thee...

Talk about shock and awe.

I was appalled to learn last week that President Bush’s former domestic policy advisor, Claude Allen, got busted in a sloppy attempt to defraud my very favorite Montgomery County, MD Target store. But according to WeeklyRadioAddress.com, there might be a valid explanation for Mr. Allen's seemingly anti-American behavior.

Last week’s episode was pretty damn funny, too.

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale...

If you have ~20 minutes to spare, Act One of this episode of This American Life is worth a listen. These kids sound like a lot of fun. But I feel sorry for the ducks...

Who needs cable, when entertainment like this is free...

This needs no commentary. Just watch it. And remember to turn on the subtitles.

Almost as funny as this.

Props go to The Houseguests for introducing me to these. And curse them for me now having both these tunes stuck in my head!

An gallon of deliciousness in every drop...

To commemorate a loyal ITSC member’s visit to the land of plastic food and dirty underwear vending machines, I’d like to introduce you all to a little site called Engrish.com. It will happy laugh fun time for your pleasure life. Clap clap.

Name This Car!

Naming cars is almost as popular as naming houseplants. Everyone is doing it, especially chicks. Since I'm not a big "car namer," my mom has always named my cars for me. In my younger years, I had Beluga (a lovely aqua-tinted Toyota MR2.I was the coolest chick in high school). Now, I pop around the city in Topper (a friendly blue VW Cabrio).

Anyway, I have a friend who takes the naming of her car very seriously. A car's name must show off its personality, sound pleasant and not be utterly ludicrous. It's essentially like naming a child. This same friend currently is pondering the name of her new-to-her, green VW Jetta. She has a few names in mind, but could use some inspiration. What says green Jetta to you? Hopefully, this picture will arouse you to dream up a fabulous name and then respond below.

Let the games begin!

Crunches with Condi

Or "Sweatin' with the Vulcan". Or "Gettin' Ripped with Rice". So many potential names for this piece...

According to Reuters, my least favorite NBC4 newscaster, Barbara Harrison, will shock the Washington metro area with some very important news this week -- the intricacies of Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice's workout regimen. Fire up those TiVos! Or not.

What next? Will Donald Rumsfeld co-host a movie review of "Syriana" with entertainment reporter extraordinaire Arch Campbell? Or maybe Alberto Gonzalez will guest host an edition of "It's Academic" with Mac McGarry. (Editor's note: I was shocked to find that there is a Wikipedia site for "It's Academic". People have too much free time.)

Curry and Rice

I submit the following for your viewing pleasure.

Biodata? Who writes this stuff? These guys, I guess.

Fair trade?

I ain't talkin' NAFTA, folks.

No, I'm referring to a recent deal between media conglomerates Walt Disney Co. and NBC Universal that sent "Monday Night Football" announcer Al Michaels packing to NBC in exchange for the rights to Oswald the Lucky Rabbit. Oswald the what? Exactly.

Oh, the indignity!

Washingtonians Talk Funny

I love Washingtonians (and former Washingtonians). I just asked my co-blogger what he's been up to since he's been quiet as of late, and this is his reponse: You know...the usual. Slacking off. Fighting the war on terror. Watching CSPAN. Memorizing the State of the Union. You wouldn't hear that response from just anyone. I'm very amused.

RPS - Not Just a Kids Game Anymore

Everyone's favorite kids game is sweeping bars across the nation -- Rock Paper Scissors. On Wednesday night at my favorite DC bar (The Rooster), I had the pleasure of competing in the newly formed USA Rock Paper Scissors League (USARPS). Open to the masses, and sponsored by my least favorite brand of water (Bud Light), slightly drunken people are encouraged to pull out their hands and go head-to-head with fellow barmates in hopes of winning a trip to the national tournament in my new favorite city (Las Vegas). While I only came in third, I was awarded a requisite rad RPS hat and watched fellow drinking pal Peter win the night. Next up: a trip across town to watch Peter compete to be the DC RPS winner. If he wins, off to Vegas and television fame he goes! Did I mention that A&E has signed on to telecast the USARPS League finals?