Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Blender's Worst List

Blender Magazine recently listed their worst artists in music history. While this is a pretty good rundown, there are a few problems:
1. Calling many of these people "artists" is just wrong. Do you really consider Master P to be an artist? Same for Whitesnake? I think not.
2. 98 Degrees rules! How can you not like the underdog boy band with cutie Nick Lachey?
3. Ranking Yanni #15 is way too low. He should be ranked #2, right after the pan flute-playing guy on the infomercials.
4. Jamiroquai!?!? On THIS list? Come on people. His tunes are fun, dancey and catchy.
5. No band that has performed on an episode of 90210 should be included on this list, so Color Me Badd needs to be exchanged for Fergie or J.C. Chasez cuz they really do blow.
6. Where is Josh Groban on this list? He is an affront to all humanity. He really should stop torturing old women.

However, I applaud Blender for not forgetting the crimes against humanity delivered by Celine "Horsey Girl" Dion, the Gypsy "We Are Trying to be Exotic" Kings, Creed, Michael "I Should Have a Hairball" Bolton, Kenny "Nothing I Play is Even Close to Jazz" G and Lee "I Get Rednecks on Their Feet to Salute" Greenwood. And mostly, thank you, Blender, for including Vanilla Ice. May I never have to see or hear his only famous song karaoke'd ever again.