Tuesday, May 16, 2006

America's Secret Club

America's favorite TV show has a secret fan club. There are thousands of people who rush home every Tuesday night to watch "American Idol," yet their family, friends and coworkers have no idea what they are doing between 8 and 9pm. "I need to go do my laundry" and "I need to feed my goldfish" are some excuses that are floated around 7:55pm on Tuesdays. Haven't you noticed the people who dash away from the water cooler as soon as the Katharine's knee-humping is mentioned?

This secret fan club exists because I know them. I know they they hide amongst us. Yet, it isn't until after several drinks that their club membership is revealed when they opine about the gray-haired man shaking his moneymaker.

Why are people afraid to admit they like the cutting comments from Simon? Why do they hide the fact that they can't live without seeing Paula's nightly live TV insaity? Don't these people realize that there are few of us who can resist the utter cheese that brings America so much joy?

Next question for next time...Why are there "American Idol" haters out there? How can anyone hate something so simple and wholesome as a singing show?


The Goddess said...

Well, I would have admitted that I am an unabashed fan, until you referred to Taylor's "moneymaker." **shudder**

(And, as long as I'm on the subject, do white men actually have moneymakers? Most of them are, like, concave back there.)

Elle Woods said...

Some white men have little bubbles. I *think* Taylor is concave but it is too frightening too look....

Bruiser Woods said...

Since when did this become a forum on the white man's burden (aka the lack of junk in his trunk)?

Elle did a wonderful job in this post, but methinks it smacks of Jayson Blair-style reporting. I cannot and will not believe that there are god-fearing Americans who are ashamed to admit their love of AI.

"Knee-humping"? I think I've missed that. Is that on cable, or something? Can I get that in HDTV?

Got too much time on your hands? I just found a choice podcast -- "Idol Minute" by the website IdolsRising.com. A great way to get the latest dirt on America's favorite show as told by a guy who sounds like Cleveland from "Family Guy" all set to a Club Chaos beat.

Anonymous said...

SOUL PATROL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Good afternoon many have machines which not insuranced,
you have a unique opportunity only today to receive insurance the machine free of charge
[url= http://auto-insurance.halychen.com/index.html ]auto insurance[/url]
[url= http://auto-insurance.halychen.com/map.html ]auto insurance[/url]
[url= http://cars-insurance.halychen.com/index.html ]cars insurance[/url]
[url= http://cars-insurance.halychen.com/map.html ]cars insurance[/url]
[url= http://texascarinsurance.fromborg.com/map.html ]texas car insurance[/url]
[url= http://texascarinsurance.fromborg.com/index.html ]texas car insurance[/url]
[url= http://carinsurancequotes.halychen.com/map.html ]car insurance quotes[/url]
[url= http://carinsurancequotes.halychen.com/index.html ]car insurance quotes[/url]
[url= http://carinsurancepolicy.halychen.com/map.html ]car insurance policy[/url]
[url= http://carinsurancepolicy.halychen.com/index.html ]car insurance policy[/url]
[url= http://xanaxaxa.blogspot.com ]xanax[/url]
[url= http://phenne.blogspot.com ]phentermine[/url]
[url= http://tramadol400.blogspot.com ]buy tramadol[/url]

Anonymous said...

Hi people
I do not know what to give for Christmas of the to friends, advise something ....

Anonymous said...

Hello. Good day
Who listens to what music?
I Love songs Justin Timberlake and Paris Hilton

Anonymous said...

Mmm my sweety private weblink collection. I hope you enjoy it !
ass parade
naruto xxx

About Christmas
[url=http://merrychristmascatalog.blogspot.com]merry christmas[/url]

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol
big breast
merry christmas
ass parade
naruto xxx
auto insurance
auto insurance
cars insurance
cars insurance
texas car insurance
texas car insurance
car insurance quotes
car insurance quotes
car insurance policy
car insurance policy

Anonymous said...


I Want to divid with you medicine which rescue the lifes of peoples. These tablets rescued not one groups
of ten peoples. If you not don't care fates of the sick people that, please not deletes this message.
This message can read the person who these preparations rescue the life!!!!

[url=http://www.trytry.info/?231]Penis Growth Patch Rx[/url]
[url=http://www.trytry.info//r/?231]Ultra Allure Pheromones[/url]
[url=http://www.trytry.info/s/?231]Advanced Gain Pro Pills[/url]
[url=http://www.trytry.info/g/?231]Regenisis HGH[/url]

Anonymous said...

Wow! Easy to find helpful information. Congratulations!
- www.blogger.com 2
samsung ringtone
motorola ringtone
sony ericsson ringtone
nokia ringtone

Anonymous said...

I considered myself as the professional in this theme, and did not think that I can find in the Internet something new. But having come on your site, I have understood, that I know nothing and it is necessary for me to study and study as much as possible.
- savethesquaredstage.blogspot.com q
07 car civic honda
buy used car
car undefined used
used car bergen
used car oakland
used car greensboro
used car raleigh
used car killeen
used car vallejo
used car tacoma

Anonymous said...

Do not delete it please. I need money urgent
[url=http://www.queroumforum.com/replicarolex2/]Replica Rolex[/url]
[url=http://www.queroumforum.com/replicawatches2/]Replica Watches[/url]
[url=http://www.queroumforum.com/asiansex/]Asian Sex[/url]