Friday, December 28, 2007
Anyway, to tease you bit, here are some recent gems from the "Journal Junction" section of WV's The Journal newspaper:
"“Friggin’” is a word that is ... used to denote that the object of the statement is true in the extreme, and often, that it is negative ... It is based on an understood mispronounciation of “freaking,” which carries the same meaning, i.e. “My neighbor has six freaking cars on his lawn.” It is understood the neighbor has six cars on his lawn, and that this is considered a bad thing."
"To the caller who doesn’t like sweat pants on people over 30: Well, I am over 50 and overweight. I like to wear my sweat pants, because they are comfortable, and they are warm. I encourage people like me to keep on, baby. That’s why we live in the U.S.A. I even think I wore bedroom slippers to Wal-Mart one day when I forgot to wear my shoes!"
Essentially, people call or write the paper with their thoughts on anything, and the paper actually prints these items (no, they are not just posted on the web site). If people see an item one day and want to comment, they write back via this section. It's a community dialogue!
For a giggle, visit the Journal Junction and be sure you click on the "Full Story" link to see all the entries from a given day.
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Story: I met this gentleman in a wine tasting room. He gave me "his card" following tales of living on two continents and wanting to start a business. I almost guffawed in his face when I read his official (and obviously self-given) title.
What to note: Yes, the guy spells the word "connoisseur" in the French way for some unknown (but likely uppity) reason. Surprisingly, he never explained what he is a "connaisseur" (to use his spelling) of! My perverted mind has filed a mental list of possibilities.
What you can't see: The gentleman has phone numbers on three continents (two of the numbers are on the back of the card) and an e-mail address clearly exclaiming "I not just an international man of snootiness, but I went to a damn good school too!"
[Card details blurred to protect the privacy. I feel so kind now.]
Monday, November 12, 2007
The venue was nearly as much fun as the event. The Warsaw in Brooklyn doubles as the "Polish National Home." I'm not sure what that means, but I do know they serve a nice kielbasa in a delicious roll (not quite Amaroso, but nearly as tasty). And I now have a new favorite Polish beer -- Zywiec.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Obviously this quote conjures up numerous thoughts:
- Do crack dealers or crackheads have a penchant for venison?
- Does crack cause people to want deer meat?
- Are there markets for other meats when trading in animals and crack?
- Does he use the crack or sell it again for more profits?
- Do people give deer any crack before they are killed?
I think this deserves a read of the whole article. And of course, a viewing of John Waters most underrated flick (and my personal fave), Pecker.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Of course, I need to give the Internet a shout-out for bringing this to my attention. I love you Internet!
Monday, October 01, 2007
Vodka Tasting Take Five's Lineup: Svedka (Sweden), Three Olives (UK) and Reyka (Iceland).
Tonight was a little different than usual in that the two ladies and one gentleman had differing opinions on the vodkas, especially with the Three Olives. So, let's break it down a bit.
Best vodka straight up for the night: Svedka *barely* beat out Reyka for this title. Both ladies thought the Three Olives straight was horrid, with Goddess exclaiming that this tastes "chemically like an ultra-light cupcake" and "tastes like DC tap water." Strangely, the gentleman liked the Three Olives.
Best vodka with soda: Svedka, in it's very blue Ikea-looking bottle, was the clear winner for this category with all 3 tasters scoring this the highest. Reviews were "inoffensive" and "has a decent sweetness."
Best in a mixed cocktail: This round Reyka with its Icelandic lava-distilled goodness won, inciting comments of "clean" and "a little sweetness." Guess that lava works.
Overview: Svedka, which was $8.99 for the 750ml bottle this week, is a very good "bang for the buck." It would be a good choice for your next party when you don't want to go broke serving Ketel One. Our gentleman taster really like Three Olives best in his overall scoring, but frankly, the ladies thought it was just plain bad (and who really wants vodka from the UK anyway). Reyka did fine...but not so amazingly better than Svedka that you'd necessarily want to plop down an extra $10 or more bucks a bottle.
An aside, when selecting what seltzer or club soda you're drinking at home...we recommend paying the extra few cents for the Vintage (or other good brand). When using store-brand Zazz this round, we noted its crappiness and thought the better seltzer must be made by the Jews.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Basically, Colonel Sanders wants to put some kind of smell-o-lator on mail carts to spread the good news of chicken in offices, including here in DC. Frankly, it sounds more like they are spreading nausea to me. Now if they were to do a combined KenTacoHut smell, I'd be into that. Mmm...gorditas + pan pizza + popcorn chicken...
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
For more info on this precious piece of passion, pop over here.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Monday, August 06, 2007
As his contribution to the talent show that traditionally closes the annual meeting of ASEAN member countries, Japanese Foreign Minister Taro Aso helmed an elaborate parody of Billy's Boot Camp, the workout videos hawked by Billy Blanks on infomercials across the globe. Check out the video HERE.
You gotta feel sorry for the unfortunate bureaucrats who were likely forced upon threat of demotion to serve as the supporting cast for this mess. Government salaries aren't good enough to justify this kind of abuse.
Then again, at least Japan performed its own show. Deputy Secretary of State John Negroponte just hired a bunch of Filipino singers to belt out a few showtunes. Heck, if he was just gonna hire someone and was already in Manila, he should have given these guys some work.
Sunday, August 05, 2007
What's next? Nude Night Court? A Jeffersons-inspired porno?
Friday, August 03, 2007
Tasted like scrambled eggs and sugar. Not that that is a bad thing.
Here's the recipe. I'm not sure what what "...baked 6" means. Maybe that is some sort of traditional Japanese cooking method.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Participants: Two lovely gentlemen and Elle Woods. Location: Office conference room.
Favorites: Fanta (by Elle and Sir Pop View) and Jamaican (by a coworker who generally is disgusted by pineapple soda).
Other Coworkers' Views of Tasting: Very sad that we weren't tasting alcoholic beverages.
Current Status of Sodas: In office fridge becoming science experiment.
Location: Office conference room.
Overall Thoughts on Pineapple Sodas Tasted:
Jamaican: Candylike, which is why wacky coworker friend liked it best.
Goya: Not overly syrupy; generally decent tasting; 2nd favorite for Elle and Sir Pop View.
Fanta: Probably the most real pineapple flavor; nice fizz.
Jupina: Strange brownish color; not very fizzy; rather bizarre.
Final Experiment: Mixing all the sodas together! Strangely, this had a decent flavor. When in doubt, mix!
Thursday, July 26, 2007
However, I bring to you an amazing, seemingly real Internet video that you must watch. It's Phillippine prisoners re-enacting Michael Jackson's Thriller video! No, I'm totally not lying. Be sure to notice the prisoner dressed up as the girl int he video. For more enjoyment, the prisoners also do a song from the fine film "Sister Act."
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
When my long-time friend shared this dark family secret, those who heard this amazing anecdote (including her husband for the first time) were entertained and enthralled. Why did these items become a weekly meal? Could, say, lima beans be substituted for the canned baked beans? And what about Doritos – could they take the place of potato chips? After some research (otherwise known as asking her mom why this strange meal ever occurred), it was found that her dad just happens to really like baked beans and felt that pizza warranted a side dish.
For now, I’ll be sticking with beer as my pizza side dish. Anyone else have any strange meals as a kid?
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
The Reverend Billy is leading the Church of Stop Shopping on a journey against the shopocalypse: when spirituality is replaced by the coveting of goods and the worshiping of credit cards. He is urging folks near and far to stop shopping, stop over consuming and stop to consider where and how goods are made (think sweatshops in India). An almighty goal, if I do say so myself.
I had the pleasure of learning about Rev. Billy via the documentary "What Would Jesus Buy?" shown at the fabulous Silverdocs Festival. The documentary travels alongside Rev. Billy and his troupe of singers/evangelists on their journey in an aging tour bus from NYC to Disneyland. Along the way, the gang stops at local churches, strip malls, the infamous Mall of America and finally ends with a sneak attack sermon/demonstration on Main Street in Disneyland (where Rev. Billy of course gets arrested).
This was one of the film's premieres, so hopefully it will receive wider release in theaters or on DVD. So in the meantime, Rev. Billy takes confessions online like all good 21st century televangelists do.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Now, you may be saying to yourself, "Bruiser, isn't goldfish scooping a singles sport?" Heck, no! The more the merrier. Those goldfish can get feisty! You're gonna want a team member to watch your back when the competition gets fierce!
Who's in? I think this event even doubles as an olympic qualifier...
Monday, June 25, 2007
Billy was the theme of many a conversation I had with the locals in the past two weeks, whether they were commenting on how funny Billy's Japanese-dubbed voice is, his visit to Tokyo, or how they haven't yet developed Billy-esque abs despite daily viewings of the DVDs (yes, I actually know someone who bought these DVDs; but, heck, I also know someone who swears by the Magic Bullet).
Perhaps this is part of a new soft power diplomacy strategy by Karen Hughes to win the hearts and minds of our foreign allies.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Air guitar broke out last year with little known documentary "Air Guitar Nation" chronicling a small group of dreamers in the barely existent U.S. Air Guitar Championships with the hope of reaching the international air guitar crown in Oulu, Finland. Two men were pitted against each other...C Diddy, a fake samurai who wears a Hello Kitty chest armor and Bjorn Turoque, a scrappy New Yorker with a most excellent stage name. (FYI - DVD comes out in August and it is a must rent.)
Back to DC...hosted by infamous air guitarer Bjorn Turoque, one of the regional competitions came to a sold-out 9:30 club last week before trekking to eight other cities around the country. An urban cowboy, a military man, an ancient philospher and some other generally weird characters competed for the Mid-Atlantic crown. Round one was a musical selection by the competitor; round two was a secret selection by the air guitar governing body. The guitarer with the most "airness" wins (see movie to full understand that concept). At the end of the show the entire crowd air guitared together.
One last thought...we cannot forget the political side of air guitar (especially for a DCite like myself). Air guitar aims for peace, because if you are holding an air guitar, you can't be holding a gun at the same time. As they say in the movie "make air, not war." Think on that for a minute...those are deep words for world peace.
(Photo courtesy of svetlana80 on Flickr since I'm an idiot and forgot my camera.)
Monday, June 04, 2007
Sadly missing from this photo is a customer sporting matching, orange-sized tattoos on ther "upper boob-le area." I guess you could say it was an unforgettable night.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
I think my favorites are his reviews of:
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Saturday, May 05, 2007
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
[I know, I know...this post wasn't funny or silly. But I contend it is newsworthy and helpful, and I'm just trying to keep things fresh.]
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Friday, April 13, 2007
Friday, April 06, 2007
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
As in previous tastings, we tasted each vodka straight up with an ice cube, with soda, and in a mixed cocktail (a lemonade-chambord cocktail as in previous rounds). Two females and one male got drunk, er, um, I mean tasted with much thought and commentary.
Winner of the night: Hangar One
We didn't expect it, but the the sweetness of this vodka straight up and with soda won over our small crowd. All three tasters ranked this vodka tops in the three categories, with us especially enjoying this vodka mixed with soda.
Loser of the night: Chopin
While not as bad as some previous vodkas we've tasted (vodkas that shall remain nameless), this tater tot-based vodka was not a favorite. One taster noted this vodka "smelled faintly of a public restroom" and another said "this isn't as good as mashed potatoes." With comments like this, no wonder there is no deep love.
Overall, Hangar One is a reliable choice in your next bar setting. Tito's Homemade was noted to be a smooth and decent vodka, but if you have a choice, ask for Hangar One.
Note to readers: after we make it through the mainstream vodkas you see at your local bar, we'll be doing a "championship round." Don't miss it -- this really is a public service!
Sunday, March 04, 2007
This poor SF Chronicle subscriber just wants to watch Nancy Grace, but all he can find on Channel 57 are "some dumb snakes crawling all over the television when it is time to go to bed." Huh??? Plus he missed Geraldo?!? I'd be upset, too!
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Friday, February 16, 2007
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
The San Francisco Chronicle recently decided to have a little fun with its angry readership by turning readers' phone calls into a wacky podcast. In this pilot (no pun intended) episode, a word-wise reader bitches out the editors of the paper for their use of the tautology "pilotless drone" as a synonym for UAV. For shame!
And in a first for STSS, I have linked below to a fun music video somebody made of the call. Enjoy!
Monday, February 05, 2007
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
The lineup: Skyy, Stoli, Grey Goose, Ketel One, Level and Effen.
Crappiest vodka of the evening: Level
The vodka designated by manufacturer Absolut as "beyond smooth" is more like "beyond crap" to us. This was the lowest scoring vodka in all categories by all tasters. "Bad and wrong" and "My mouth waters to get rid of it" were just a few comments about how ass-tastic this vodka tastes. At the evening's conclusion, we were wondering how to use the leftover Level. Most likely it will be pushed onto less discriminating friends at an upcoming fiesta.
Curiously delectable vodka of the evening: Ketel One
Ketel One was the big winner of the "flavored" tasting (see Vodka Tasting - Part Uno), and it scores high yet again. All tasters were impressed in all categories by the Ketel, noting it's "the cleanest one we've had thus far." We were especially surprised that Ketel One was drinkable straight up, a category several tasters typically don't enjoy exploring.
Cheapskate vodka winner of the evening: Skyy
While tasters don't think it's as tasty as the fine Finlandia, as a "we're drinkin' cheap" vodka, Skyy did well this round. Tasters did not have deep positive or negative feelings towards Skyy. It performed best in the "with soda" category.
Other thoughts to note: The plain Stoli was only decently rated in the mixed cocktail category. Tasters exclaimed "Smells like college!" and "Fumes!" in response to the Stoli straight up and with soda. Surprisingly, Grey Goose did not perform as highly as its price and reputation. On average, it finished below Effen, Skyy and Ketel One. One experienced vodka taster expressed a "Yech!" when drinking the Goose.
Don't worry! This isn't the last installation of vodka tasting. If you can believe it, we still have popular brands Chopin, Citradelle and Hanger One to sample, along with others.
Friday, January 19, 2007
I did a quick You Tube search for one of his fights, and decided I'd link to this one because it has him wrestling Nikolai Volkoff. Very clear who is the heel here. Nobody likes a Soviet-era Russian. Rocky IV taught us that. Unless, of course, that Russian is Yakov Smirnoff. We like him, because he helps keep the Branson, MO economy vibrant with his wacky stage show.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Anywho, jolly old England is now enjoying a celebrity version of the show (among the D-list stars we Yanks would recognize are Jermaine Jackson and Dirk Benedict, of A-Team fame). Unfortunately, the show has been tainted by bad relations between some of the contestants and their Bollywood star housemate. Enough to cause something of an international incident.
Let's hope we never get this worked up over Beauty and the Geek.
Monday, January 15, 2007
I guess Germans also love Legos. Though everyone loves Legos, so that isn't really surprising.
And for more fun with distorted history, look no further than our fearless leader (OK, so it's a parody).
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Monday, January 01, 2007
Anywhoodle (as "Goddess" would say), the second round of vodka tasting focused on the utilitarian plain/unflavored vodka. Our method for tasting this round was to pin "cheapie" vodkas (cheap, but not arriving in a plastic bottle) against each other, and then move to three "pricies" head-to-head. As in the previous round, we tasted each vodka straight up, then with seltzer, and finally mixed in a cocktail. This tasting included two females and one male.
Cheapies Lineup: Smirnoff vs. Finlandia
Results: The Smirnoff was reported by all tasters to have an odd sweetness and medicinal taste, thus giving it the lower overall score. By comparison, Finlandia had a clean, nondescript, and smooth flavor that the group found to be pleasant straight up, with seltzer and in a cocktail.
Pricies Lineup: Belvedere vs. Ciroc vs. Blue Ice
Results: Ciroc easily leads the pack with its high scores in all categories. This French grape-based vodka was a crowd-pleaser, with one mentioning its hint of citrus flavor. We were most dispointed with Belvedere, with one taster succinctly exclaiming that it's "nasty, nasty shit." I think we all agreed after noting the vodka's medicinal quality and general ass-tastic-ness. Blue Ice performed best in a mixed cocktail, but generally the group felt so-so toward this American vodka.
Overall thoughts: Your everday, go-to vodka should be Finlandia. Lacking an overpowering flavor, it lends well to tasty mixed drinks without breaking the bank. For your next vodka and soda, all tasters gave Ciroc with soda the highest scores. Ciroc has a pleasant flavor that comes through nicely with just soda. Finally, we were deeply disturbed by the disgusting flavor of Belvedere and urge the world at large to avoid it at all times.