Rainbows! I like rainbows. Like the Ones That...

Apparently having a rainbow draped upon oneself is more than just a sign of gay pride nowadays. It seems that teenage boys are getting the "pleasure" of being "rainbowed" at parties around the country.

Don't know what I'm talking about? I think the NYTimes says it best:

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/06/30/
fashion/thursdaystyles/30rainbow.html?8dpc (cut and paste this link)

Although I don't have any first-hand experience with these parties (I am unfortunately over the age of 18), I don't think its too far-fetched to think that these are just a figment of the right-wing's imagination, and this doesn't really happen. They probably just want to stomp out all kinds of rainbows. The right-wing certainly likes to stomp out everything else...

Return to Our Youth

Blogging from down here by the Gallery Mall in one of my favorite cities, Philadelphia, I can't help but have Live 8 on my mind (well, that and cheesesteaks, of course). The City of Brotherly Love (yes, Philly gives you love, but in its own special way) is hosting the U.S. concert of Live 8 in the coming days. While I'm pleased Philly gets to be center stage, I keep trying to think back to the original Live Aid. I remember as a youngster I sat at home and watched my MTV, anxiously awaiting either the performance of Wham!/George Michael. Boy I loved them...

While my memory is a little fuzzy about the details of the performances, I feel like Live Aid was a big deal for the world, and for my own personal viewing, back in the 80s. It just makes me wonder if the 12 year olds out there also anxiously anticipating sitting at home all Saturday watching their Live 8 on MTV and VH1?

Regardless, there is a pretty kickass line-up this time around. Check some details: http://www.live8live.com/theconcerts/index.shtml
http://www.billboard.com/bb/daily/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1000969197
Besides the most hideous, annoying, evil Josh Groban, it seems like a good gig. I can only wish I was in London to catch Robbie Williams. Or really, wouldn't it be cool to see a concert from red Square in Moscow?

Too bad I'd have to share the concert with one million of my closest friends out on the Parkway in Philly. I think I'll just tune in on MTV. But good luck to Mo-town Philly for a successful event without too many arrests, beatings or other bizarre things that happen 'round here.

A cry for help?

Since wasting an hour of my life last night watching the "Runaway Bride" interview on NBC, I have become hyper-sensitive to "cries for help". The last thing I want is to wind up on a Greyhound bus in Albuquerque...unless, of course, it is a Chinatown bus and I have a seat at the front.

That said, I think I must need professional help. Why? Because I just laughed riotously loud at a sight gag on the CBS sitcom "Yes, Dear". It is bad enough that I was watching that insipid program, but to actually find it entertaining? That is a true cry for help.

Name Your Fave Movie Line

So the American Film Institute today released their top 100 movie lines. See the list here: http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20050622/ap_on_en_mo/film_movie_quotes_list_1

Some are good, some are dumb. I’ll let you decide if you like their choices, but in the meantime, here are a few off the top of my head that should have been included. I could have included more from “When Harry Met Sally” but I’m trying to spread the wealth (or trying not to look like I’ve memorized the movie).

“I love the smell of commerce in the morning.” – Mallrats

“Sally, please report to me.” – When Harry Met Sally

“What I’m saying is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.” -- When Harry Met Sally

“You're the worst kind. You're high maintenance, but you think you're low maintenance.” – When Harry Met Sally

“I’m Andrew Shepherd and I am the president.” – The American President

“She could use some mascara and some serious highlights, but otherwise, she's not completely unfortunate looking.” – Legally Blonde

“Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?” – The Breakfast Club

Rachael Ray is a liar

30-minute meals? Bah! Urged by my blog-sista to give cooking at home a try, I procured "30-Minute Meals 2" from my local Barnes and Noble. But my first attempt at "Chicken Divan" last night took me 45 minutes! Add to that the cleanup time required, and I was up to near 1 hour.

Why, RR? I let you into my living room at least 2 hours a week, and then, when I finally build up the courage to fire up my stove, I learn it is all a sham? I'm crushed.

Doritos: Not Just for Nice People

Just when ya thought that you and Saddam have nothing in common (well, maybe besides general dislike of George W...), the world throws you a seasony, triangle-shaped chip.

Apparently, Saddam's prison guards recently shared wtih GQ that he has a massive Doritos-eating habit. Check this out: http://msnbc.msn.com/id/8288955/

While I don't understand his evil mass killings or torture of innocent people, I do fully understand his love of the world's best chip. The nacho seasoning, the powdery orange fingers, and the easily-detectable Doritos breath are true testaments to the wonderfulness of this American snack food.

What Century Is This?

I know our illustrious capital city isn't the fashion mecca that my co-blogger's new hometown is, but really people, do grown men and women have to make "Let's Be Twins" dates to wear seersucker?

If you're confused, I direct you here: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/photo/2005/06/17/PH2005061700389.html

Yes, that's a photo of several U.S. senators wearing seersucker for the annual "Let's Look Like its Birmingham in 1935 and Wear Seersucker Day." I'm guessing its some lame southern tradition going back to 1901 where senators really didn't have anything better way to entertain themselves than to dress up like dorks. The American public already thinks that our elected officials are dorks, but did they have to go this far?

And, I know what you're thinking...this is really worse than "Hawaiian Shirt Day."

Save Me from 90210 Reruns

As much as I love my DVR'ed 90210 reruns (I can't get enough of the sexy looks Dylan shoots at me through the screen), and as much as I look forward to watching the daily snips of "Seinfeld" and "The Daily Show," someone out there has to have something else for me to watch on TV (yes, TV should be capitalized because TV is really owed that much respect).

Yes, I understand that it is summer and I shouldn't expect much, but really, it is hot outside and I'm bored with what's on my boob tube.

So, listen up dear readers, I need your advice. Tell me what to watch on TV. But, before you tinkle your keys, please don't include any suggestions like CBS sitcoms, reruns of "Mash" or "Will and Grace," NASCAR events, stuff that involves TomKat, or anything on FoxNews. However, please do let me know of any hot, steamy selections on C-SPAN, shows about food and drink, and anything just plain bizarre.

Torture by Radio

It’s annoying enough that we have to be tortured by radio station playlists controlled by the supreme radio gods, Clear Channel and Infinity. But these horrid radio conglomerates torture us with the worst stuff on the market. There are a few key examples (although I’m sure there are hundreds more – please feel free to share those with us here, except any examples involving Britney Spears).

Example A: The new Backstreet Boys song.
I don’t even know the name of this song, and I really don’t want to know. I do know that it sucks. The song sounds like it was rejected by some lame country-pop artist and then passed along to the boy band for their comeback hit. I thought I never would have to see Kevin Richardson and his evil goatee, but no, I will now be haunted forever.

Example B: Will Smith’s song “Switch”

“Ooh la la la.” Yes, that’s a real line from this fine song that sounds like it was dug up from 1988. The song sounds like he’s trying to start a new rap-line dance craze, and if it is, he should be ashamed of himself. Why is Mr. Smith trying to continue his rap career with rehashed renditions of cheesey rap? Rap has come a long way since “Parents Just Don’t Understand.” Will Smith needs to stick with movies, rather than producing songs that sound like rap for over-40 year old parents or “Romper Room.”

Bill, I’ll Miss You

From my earliest days in the press office of a certain senator, I sat at my desk everyday glued to CNN and my favorite television news reporter, Bill Hemmer. So, it comes with much sadness that CNN announced his departure today, “Bill Hemmer has decided to pursue opportunities elsewhere, and we wish him the best. Bill is a highly respected colleague and I know that everyone who worked with Bill over the years will miss him.”

I can’t count the days I strode in late to work and caught the last half hour of CNN Morning with Bill and Daryn (Kagan). A certain coworker and I were always happy to hear there was a hurricane brewing, since Bill would likely be there to cover the disaster. He always looked his best when wet in the midst of heavy rain and wind, outfitted in a windbreaker and glasses (he didn’t wear glasses in the studio). Bill was also there for some dark days in my life -- when he was posted in Florida for the recount, and even when evildoers were attempting a ridiculous task of impeaching a president. Yet, the days of evil Republicans were always happier when I could gaze at Bill.

So Bill, I bid you adieu. I hope exciting new opportunities come your way. And if you end up on Fox News, there will be hell to be paid.

Dance Fever

I’m the first person to profess love for ballroom dancing, however, network television’s aim to make it mainstream has seriously gone awry. Just as important, I’m also the first person to dig a little cheese on television, but really, I’ll keep my cheese limited to teen dramas and the only talent show worth watching.

So, for “research” purposes, I tuned in to ABC’s new show that couples D-rate celebrities with seemingly equal D-rate ballroom dancers to waltz-offs and cha-cha-offs. Joining in on the fun are the pseudo-snooty dancing judges and America dialing in to vote on their favorite.

My question is: how many call-in votes could a ridiculous show like this actually get? In typical fashion, American is stupider than I can ever imagine, since “Dancing with the Stars” was the most watched program Wednesday night. I’m guessing it was the handsome blue-eyed Joey McIntyre that brought in the voters, rather than some annoying chick from “General Hospital” or Mr. Peterman from “Seinfeld” (although he seemed moderately dashing as he was gliding around the dance floor).

Perhaps networks should remember back to simpler times with some good cheese-sleaze dancing on Dance Fever every Saturday afternoons. That Adrian Zmed really was a hot number.

My new favorite show...

...is "Beauty and the Geek" -- brought to you by the fine folks at the WB (former home of a show - Dawson's Creek - that would have shaped my blog-sista's adolescence had it been aired just a decade sooner).

If anyone else saw this hideously wonderful monstrosity (what else would you expect from an Ashton Kutcher production?) and was puzzled by the stress/excitement-induced nosebleeds of "Chuck", do realize that his affliction is a quite common one -- in the world of Japanese manga, that is. For a primer, check out this: http://www.umich.edu/~anime/info_emotions.html

I can't believe I spend my free time on this crap. Sheesh. I need a real hobby.

Nothingness

Just like the lovely Living Colour song (look it up on iTunes if you've never heard it), it seems as if the world has moved into nothingness. No more "American Idol" (really, no more Constantine) to torture myself with every week, and hopefully soon, no more of Britney's horrid show "Chaotic" (it has to be cancelled already, doesn't it??).

So, perhaps I'll take a card from the lame Bush twins book and continue on in nothingness. It seems as if these fine gals have nothing to do with their time. Check this out: http://www.wonkette.com/politics/white-house/bush-twins-unemployment-index-may-edition-101814.php

What do they do in all their nothingness? Would they be like me and catch up on their DVR'ed 90210 reruns? Are they planning on being groupies for the nationwide "American Idol" tour? Or perhaps they didn't get turned down to perform for the new Live Aid, like the Spice Girls did.

Regardless, it seems that the twins follow their father in not caring about jobs and unemployment in this country (which, of course, is just one of the many issues their dad doesn't seem to care about, but that's a story for another time).

Carrie wins!!!

Ok...so Murph's post about shunning crap reality TV must have hit me at a particularly vulnerable moment in my life because i decided to BOYCOTT the big finale tonight (I watched a DVD and did dishes instead). I did tune in at 9:55 to catch the crowning of Carrie Underwood, who will now be blessed with all the magic celebrity that has blessed the post-Idol careers of Ruben (he starred in an episode of "Life on a Stick"!!!) and Fantasia (she had a Disney movie named after her!!!). May the drop of her new single succeed mightily!

One question though -- did I see Kenny G on stage at the end of the last song Bo sang on the show (and that he will ever sing in front of more people than can fit in a roadside karaoke saloon)? What was that about? For a moment I wondered if I had bought a bad case of PBR or something.

Has Everything Been Taken Over by the Red States?

Alongside my blogger co-host, and on the eve of the American Idol finale, I also need to comment on this important event. As a big fan, I look forward to watching the show every week (I mea really..is there anything else to watch on TV besides this and the Food Network?). While my deep love dwindled somewhat following the departure of my darling charismatic Constantine, I still have a special place in my heart for AI.

So, here we are left with two southerners...one from Oklahoma and one from Alabama. Is everything in America now driven by red states? We, unfortunately, have a red state president, but do we have to have a red state American Idol too? Sadly, it seems inevitable at this moment.

Are blue state people just not voting in ANYTHING anymore? Do blue state people just think they are above voting for anything all together? How much longer are the blue states going to stand aside and let the red states rule everything?

"Songs with titles that feature the same number of syllables as your first pet's name"...or something

OK...my sister-in-blogitude and I have hashed this one out before, but I thought I'd open it up to public discussion:

As tomorrow night is the last night our American Idols will be singing as if their lives depended on it, what do you think would be an apt theme for the songs of the evening?

"You Suck!"

So the other night I went to see Revenge of the Sith at a local cineplex. As soon as the lights went dark, someone in the capacity crowd shouted “You suck!!!” Now, as far as I know, the fellow who shouted it wasn’t directing this diatribe at anyone in particular, but seemed intent on eliciting a general reaction of laughter from his fellow audience members. And he succeeded – we all thought it was hilarious. But I couldn’t help but wonder why. What is so funny about anonymously yelling “You suck!” in a darkened theater – except that it IS funny?

Any thoughts? Has anyone else experienced this phenomenon? Am I making too much of this? Is this a common occurrence (outside of at pro wrestling matches, where any number of things or people in the room do, indeed, suck)?

Strange gifts.

Seems as if I have a not-so-secret admirer. I get envelopes full of “unique” presents. These presents include: one steak-shaped dog treat, a mini yellow crocheted change purse, Aveeno lotion, lipstick in the shade of “raisin,” a sparkly stuffed snowman, a toy airplane, ribbons naming me “Affiliate Association President”, a PowerPuff girl pencil, travel alarm clock, a picture of a man and sunflowers, on teaspoon of snow from the Great Salt Lake, a tea bag, and two pieces of magnetic words.

Are these individual items supposed to have specific meaning? Or even more, put all together, do they symbolize something?

Regardless, thank you not-so-secret admirer!

A wise person (otherwise known as my co-blogger here) once commented: "Uhhh...I try to erase AI performances from my biological harddrive immediately upon the crownig of a new champ. Frees up the memory space for capacity to ponder things such as the direction of Britney's career..."

Such wise words...perhaps we should delve into that exact issue...how long will the craptastic UPN keep this show on? I've watched my share of crappy programs, and this one is the lowest of the low. At least Jessica Simpson's husband is HOT. K-Fed has NOTHING to offer the general public, except apparently very active sperm.

In about 20 years, we'll see some type of scandalous "Behind the Music" special on Britney....

Hello?

Where do we start? Well, I guess first is welcome. Welcome, many readers, to our new blog. Since my fellow blogger and I have extremely similar interests and thoughts yet are seperated by a few hundred miles, we thought we'd bring our charm and humor together in one space. Miles may be between us, but the wonderous world of the almighty Internet keeps us joined.

Anyway, our fair readers, feel free to read our fine commentary, comment back to us, and sip the drink of your choice while doing so.