Graffiti No Longer Entertains Masses

The Internet Age has really zapped people's creativity, hasn't it? Even graffitied bus stop signage is no longer interesting or funny. Rather, it's just strange. Example: this sign from a DC metro area bus stop. If I were going to toy with a Google sign, researching "cross-dresser midget porn," "furry porn" or "jello porn" would be way more entertaining, and way more inventive, than this silly crap.

The Vodka Project: Take Four

Another weekend and another round of vodka tasting. We sipped two of the very few American-made vodkas -- Tito's Handmade (an Austin, TX pot-still vodka) and Hangar One (a young Cali vodka born in 2001) -- versus Chopin, a traditional Polish potato vodka.

As in previous tastings, we tasted each vodka straight up with an ice cube, with soda, and in a mixed cocktail (a lemonade-chambord cocktail as in previous rounds). Two females and one male got drunk, er, um, I mean tasted with much thought and commentary.

Winner of the night: Hangar One
We didn't expect it, but the the sweetness of this vodka straight up and with soda won over our small crowd. All three tasters ranked this vodka tops in the three categories, with us especially enjoying this vodka mixed with soda.

Loser of the night: Chopin
While not as bad as some previous vodkas we've tasted (vodkas that shall remain nameless), this tater tot-based vodka was not a favorite. One taster noted this vodka "smelled faintly of a public restroom" and another said "this isn't as good as mashed potatoes." With comments like this, no wonder there is no deep love.

Overall, Hangar One is a reliable choice in your next bar setting. Tito's Homemade was noted to be a smooth and decent vodka, but if you have a choice, ask for Hangar One.

Note to readers: after we make it through the mainstream vodkas you see at your local bar, we'll be doing a "championship round." Don't miss it -- this really is a public service!

Snakes on a TV

This makes me laugh no matter how many times I listen to it.

This poor SF Chronicle subscriber just wants to watch Nancy Grace, but all he can find on Channel 57 are "some dumb snakes crawling all over the television when it is time to go to bed." Huh??? Plus he missed Geraldo?!? I'd be upset, too!

Morning Stank

Yeah, here we are again with another food-related gadget, but at least this time it's unique, useful and zany. Here we have the "Wake 'n Bacon," a devilish device that awakes sleeping beauties with the aroma of a cooking cured pork product. Pretty funny, huh? Well, this is just a prototype, as the inventor-in-chief is looking for a manufacturer, so don't rush out with your gold card just yet.

Honoring a Great Man

It's a sad day. The inventor of the TV remote control died today. This man was truly a patriot. When TV was in its earliest (and obviously crappiest) stages, he toiled long hours so that millions around the world could sit on their collective asses and and bask in the glow of television. In 1956 when the Zenith Space Command remote control was debuted, did he imagine the almost 400 channels that are available today? I'm guessing not. Frankly, in my book, he stands next to the inventor of TV as one of the world's greatest people ever.

3-in-1 Breakfasts Are Dumb

I'm convinced there is an idiotic new kitchen item unveiled every week (and some previous examples have been mentioned right here). This week it's a ridiculous yet amusing all-in-one breakfast genie. Do people really need an appliance that makes a complete breakfast? And how does lunch feel about this? I mean, a tuna melt and coffee makes a great lunch but no one ever mentions that! Lunch gets no respect. Anyway, if the inventor of this monstrosity gets rich off this, I'll be really pissed...

Hooray for laziness!

Sometimes you just don't feel like walking the rest of the way home. This guy didn't, and did something about it.

This drones on a bit...

Elle and I love us a good rant. Especially when it is directed at the evil liberal print media! And given that this rant relates to unmanned aerial vehicles (a secret passion of mine in a former life), the synergies were too much not to blog about.

The San Francisco Chronicle recently decided to have a little fun with its angry readership by turning readers' phone calls into a wacky podcast. In this pilot (no pun intended) episode, a word-wise reader bitches out the editors of the paper for their use of the tautology "pilotless drone" as a synonym for UAV. For shame!

And in a first for STSS, I have linked below to a fun music video somebody made of the call. Enjoy!

Power to the Napkin

I'm happy to report the infamous "napkin notes" of Bruiser and my college experience is still alive and kicking at our alma mater's sister college. Apparently the wacky and witchy Bryn Mawr chicks are complaining via napkin notes (notes written on brown, recycled paper napkins while eating rice krispie treats made in a bowl at the tasty Rhodes dining hall) that they dislike the new mtvU TVs in their dining halls. (For those of you beyond college years, mtvU is a college-oriented network showing music videos and info about social-change from campuses across the country.) It's rather typical of Mawrters to complain about something as non-threatening as TV. They'd more likely rather see a witches-and-warlocks network or the un-fashionable fashions network. However, if you read to the end of the story, one Mawrter provides hope that not all strange lurkers of the Mawr will be societal freaks.

Vodka Tasting - Part Tres

Yes, my friends and I drank a lot again, but we did it for YOU. We're tasting more vodka so that you can select the perfect base for your next cocktail. This round included three females and one male. Again, we're tasting the classic plain vodkas straight up, with soda and in a cocktail. However different from other rounds, we didn't compare the "cheapies" to the "pricies." Instead, we just went vodka by vodka in no particular order.

The lineup: Skyy, Stoli, Grey Goose, Ketel One, Level and Effen.

Crappiest vodka of the evening: Level
The vodka designated by manufacturer Absolut as "beyond smooth" is more like "beyond crap" to us. This was the lowest scoring vodka in all categories by all tasters. "Bad and wrong" and "My mouth waters to get rid of it" were just a few comments about how ass-tastic this vodka tastes. At the evening's conclusion, we were wondering how to use the leftover Level. Most likely it will be pushed onto less discriminating friends at an upcoming fiesta.

Curiously delectable vodka of the evening: Ketel One
Ketel One was the big winner of the "flavored" tasting (see Vodka Tasting - Part Uno), and it scores high yet again. All tasters were impressed in all categories by the Ketel, noting it's "the cleanest one we've had thus far." We were especially surprised that Ketel One was drinkable straight up, a category several tasters typically don't enjoy exploring.

Cheapskate vodka winner of the evening: Skyy
While tasters don't think it's as tasty as the fine Finlandia, as a "we're drinkin' cheap" vodka, Skyy did well this round. Tasters did not have deep positive or negative feelings towards Skyy. It performed best in the "with soda" category.

Other thoughts to note: The plain Stoli was only decently rated in the mixed cocktail category. Tasters exclaimed "Smells like college!" and "Fumes!" in response to the Stoli straight up and with soda. Surprisingly, Grey Goose did not perform as highly as its price and reputation. On average, it finished below Effen, Skyy and Ketel One. One experienced vodka taster expressed a "Yech!" when drinking the Goose.

Don't worry! This isn't the last installation of vodka tasting. If you can believe it, we still have popular brands Chopin, Citradelle and Hanger One to sample, along with others.

Passing of Bam Bam Bigelow

I just learned that Bam Bam Bigelow passed away. Heck of a wrestler. I remember being impressed by him when I first saw him as a wrestler for WWF and years later was glad to catch him working for ECW.

I did a quick You Tube search for one of his fights, and decided I'd link to this one because it has him wrestling Nikolai Volkoff. Very clear who is the heel here. Nobody likes a Soviet-era Russian. Rocky IV taught us that. Unless, of course, that Russian is Yakov Smirnoff. We like him, because he helps keep the Branson, MO economy vibrant with his wacky stage show.

Creamy Goodness

American Idol, in typical fashion, is whoring its brand once again. This time it's ice cream. Actually, the "Take the Cake" flavor sounds damn good. However, I really think some better flavors would have been "Silky Simon Sundae" or "Peppermint Poppin' Paula" or even better "Razzy Ripple Randy."

Big Big Brother problem

I would have skipped right past this new item if I hadn't experienced first hand last year Brits' love of their version of the Big Brother reality show. They eat it up. More than we obsess over American Idol. They not only run the show multiple times a week -- they have recap and chat shows devoted entirely to the show!

Anywho, jolly old England is now enjoying a celebrity version of the show (among the D-list stars we Yanks would recognize are Jermaine Jackson and Dirk Benedict, of A-Team fame). Unfortunately, the show has been tainted by bad relations between some of the contestants and their Bollywood star housemate. Enough to cause something of an international incident.

Let's hope we never get this worked up over Beauty and the Geek.

Further proof that Germans have a weird sense of humor

It isn't news that our friends in Germany love the stylings of Mr. David Hasslehoff. But yesterday I learned that they also have a strange appreciation of British humor. The LA Times printed an article recently about the German tradition of watching a short British comedy sketch which, oddly enough, has never been aired on British TV. I'll admit that it is pretty funny. But why do the Germans love it so? Yet another of life's mysteries, perhaps.

I guess Germans also love Legos. Though everyone loves Legos, so that isn't really surprising.

MLK remembered...sort of

Nobody ever confused us for a country of history scholars. WashPost reports today that a disturbing number of US college kids think Martin Luther King, Jr. was an abolitionist. Well, I'm sure he would have been anti-slavery if that had been the pressing issue of his time. So I guess these idiots aren't totally wrong.

And for more fun with distorted history, look no further than our fearless leader (OK, so it's a parody).

Fried Crowns

The fast food industry never ceases to amaze me. First, there was the Taco Bell double-decker taco, the greatest combination of beans, tortilla, and taco ever created. Now, there are the crown-shaped "chicken" nuggets. The tights-wearing King at your local Burger King is now frying up these shapely breaded goodies for everyone, not just kids, via the value menu. I think we all know what you'll be doing with your next $1...especially since it's about the closest thing we'll all get to royalty.

Vodka Tasting - Part Deux

There's no better way to start 2007 than with our latest vodka tasting update! Oh sure, you may be hung over now, but by the weekend a quality cocktail will be required. In case you've been on another planet and missed vodka tasting numero uno, my friends and I have devoted ourselves to finding the perfect vodka for every cocktailing occasion (and to save you from plastic-bottle Gordon's vodka when you're at a loss for what vodka to request).

Anywhoodle (as "Goddess" would say), the second round of vodka tasting focused on the utilitarian plain/unflavored vodka. Our method for tasting this round was to pin "cheapie" vodkas (cheap, but not arriving in a plastic bottle) against each other, and then move to three "pricies" head-to-head. As in the previous round, we tasted each vodka straight up, then with seltzer, and finally mixed in a cocktail. This tasting included two females and one male.

Cheapies Lineup: Smirnoff vs. Finlandia
Results: The Smirnoff was reported by all tasters to have an odd sweetness and medicinal taste, thus giving it the lower overall score. By comparison, Finlandia had a clean, nondescript, and smooth flavor that the group found to be pleasant straight up, with seltzer and in a cocktail.

Pricies Lineup: Belvedere vs. Ciroc vs. Blue Ice
Results: Ciroc easily leads the pack with its high scores in all categories. This French grape-based vodka was a crowd-pleaser, with one mentioning its hint of citrus flavor. We were most dispointed with Belvedere, with one taster succinctly exclaiming that it's "nasty, nasty shit." I think we all agreed after noting the vodka's medicinal quality and general ass-tastic-ness. Blue Ice performed best in a mixed cocktail, but generally the group felt so-so toward this American vodka.

Overall thoughts: Your everday, go-to vodka should be Finlandia. Lacking an overpowering flavor, it lends well to tasty mixed drinks without breaking the bank. For your next vodka and soda, all tasters gave Ciroc with soda the highest scores. Ciroc has a pleasant flavor that comes through nicely with just soda. Finally, we were deeply disturbed by the disgusting flavor of Belvedere and urge the world at large to avoid it at all times.

Blender's Worst List

Blender Magazine recently listed their worst artists in music history. While this is a pretty good rundown, there are a few problems:
1. Calling many of these people "artists" is just wrong. Do you really consider Master P to be an artist? Same for Whitesnake? I think not.
2. 98 Degrees rules! How can you not like the underdog boy band with cutie Nick Lachey?
3. Ranking Yanni #15 is way too low. He should be ranked #2, right after the pan flute-playing guy on the infomercials.
4. Jamiroquai!?!? On THIS list? Come on people. His tunes are fun, dancey and catchy.
5. No band that has performed on an episode of 90210 should be included on this list, so Color Me Badd needs to be exchanged for Fergie or J.C. Chasez cuz they really do blow.
6. Where is Josh Groban on this list? He is an affront to all humanity. He really should stop torturing old women.

However, I applaud Blender for not forgetting the crimes against humanity delivered by Celine "Horsey Girl" Dion, the Gypsy "We Are Trying to be Exotic" Kings, Creed, Michael "I Should Have a Hairball" Bolton, Kenny "Nothing I Play is Even Close to Jazz" G and Lee "I Get Rednecks on Their Feet to Salute" Greenwood. And mostly, thank you, Blender, for including Vanilla Ice. May I never have to see or hear his only famous song karaoke'd ever again.

Super Yum Pops

It's true. I may be a little intrigued with ways to work alcohol into typically unalcoholic food products. Everyone has a hobby. For instance, last night some friends and I were considering the possibility of pudding shots (instead of the normal jello shots), as pudding is way higher class and more mature than jello.

So today I stumble upon Freaky Ice. Not only does it have a funky name, but these new ice pops are also an ingenious way to consume alcohol with fun flavors like Lemon Stinger, Cherry Fusion, and Passion Cocktail. More importantly, its transportable for those specials days you just can't be lazily watching bad tv.

The inventor of this product should seriously be considered for the next Nobel Prize. Innovation like this needs to be rewarded.

I *Heart* The Bell

Can you imagine ever eating $12,500 worth of Taco Bell? Have you already eaten $12,500 in double decker tacos in your lifetime? If so, I applaud you. Anyway, The Hell is offering $12,500 in Taco Bell bucks if you donate that Playstation 3 you just slashed someone at Wal Mart for. I'm serious. I could totally wait until later for a PS3 if I got a lifetime supply of calories. Just think of the party you could throw...