Project Semi-Cult Runway

You, too, can dress like a semi-cult member. The women of the Texas "Big Love"-like FLDS compound have started their own business making and selling their traditional clothing. At their online store, be sure to check out the odd sizing -- as in, what does size 14C mean? And they even sell the magic underwear. Fun! I really hope to see regular people on the streets of Philly wearing these ensembles. Snap!

[Pictured to the left is the "Teen Princess Dress" available in several colors. Somehow I think the FLDS version of princess is different than mine...]

Gobbled Dreams

Once upon a time, there was a strange motel and restaurant set in Wisconsin. Built in the shape of a turkey (if viewed from the sky), it was aptly named "The Gobbler." Lore has it that a friend of mine was conceived in one of the rooms (well, that's the story...his parents definitely were Gobbler visitors, but there is no concrete evidence of conception...he likely just doesn't want to think about his own conception).

The Gobbler was a getaway spot of Midwestern dreams. The fine establishment had nooks and crannies like "The Passion Pit", purple rooms with carpeted walls, and a Pepto-colored rotating bar room. Full of faux stone, purple and pink vinyl furniture, plastic chairs, a Brady Bunch-style carport, purple-carpeted bending hallways, circular beds, and even an eye-shaped window, the Gobbler was a truly unique slice of life.

Sadly, the motel and its rooms of love are gone. It was purposely burned by the local fire dept. earlier this century (claiming the fire peeps needed to practice). Apparently people in the 21st century cannot appreciate mid-20th century architecture and beauty.

Words of Rodeo

No deeper words have ever been practiced by an elementary school student than the words in this photo.  It is even stranger that this was written in a New Orleans school, no where near Mexico, New Mexico, Texas or other rodeo-practicing state.  I can only hope the student uses these same meaningful words when cursive writing starts.

[This was a real photo taken in New Orleans last month.]

Sitcoms Rule

A TV tabloid site has chosen the worst sitcoms ever. I find the inclusion of Mr. Belvedere, My Two Dads, Charles in Charge and Double Trouble appalling. These are 80's classics! And don't even get me started on Small Wonder, a TV gem leaving kids everywhere begging their parents for a robotic sibling.

While we are all tired of lists about this or that, I highlight this list simply because the beautiful sitcom seems to be disappearing from current TV lineups. I love sitcoms, but children aren't growing up with great sitcoms anymore. There are no classic sitcoms on TV in 2008 (other than the modern-day cartoon sitcoms like Family Guy). Some may say CBS delivers a few to the airwaves, but really, CBS is just lame.

To add to the list dialogue, below are a few of my least fave sitcoms that the PopCrunch folks neglected to list (in no particular order):

• Alf - pure torture delivered by an annoying, furry animal.
  
• Beverly Hillbillies - even for "early days" sitcoms, this is unwatchable!
• 3rd Rock from the Sun - Aliens plus John Lithgow equals absurdity.
• Harry and the Hendersons - Alf failed, why would this be any better? Even more scary is that this show was on for three seasons.
  
• Step by Step - Suzanne Somers jumped the shark with this family crap.
  
• Dharma & Greg - lead characters not interesting enough for a show, with Jenna Elfman annoying everyone.
  
• Ned & Stacey - yet another show with boring characters. Do people really get married for a good apartment?
• Three's a Crowd - one of the dumber ideas for a spinoff. Poor Jack Tripper.
  
• Roseanne - yeah, I know some people really dig this show, but Roseanne was annoying and hard to watch. Same with her lug of a husband.
  

For a full list of sitcoms, visit your pals at Wikipedia (this is an awesome list).

The Real Media Tastes Vodka

Seems as BusinessWeek has also taken up vodka tasting (it is an admirable hobby). While STSS agrees with some of the results (like Ketel One getting 4 stars), we don't think our cheap fave Finlandia deserves only 2 stars.

For STSS results of our own vodka project, check out our tastings:
- Take Cinco de Mayo - Take 4 - Part Tres - Part Deux - Numero Uno
And more to come soon!

Sadder Than a Trip to Wally World

We've all seen the images of the post-Katrina New Orleans, but nothing brings the story to life like an empty, left-behind amusement park. I spotted Six Flags New Orleans on the edge of the city just last week, complete with a fenced-off entrance and tall weeds growing almost as high as the sign. It seems that roller coasters and other rides sadly handled the storm better than many area homes and businesses (good to know for amusement park riders for future references; obviously unfortunate for NO dwellers).

Gazing at this abandoned ferris wheel (with the seats still locked on) is sadder than when the Griswolds drove up to a closed Wally World. Now, the park's only visitors are surely just Daphne, Scooby Doo and the gang sifting around at night looking for a strange robot named Charley (see episode "Foul Play at Funland").

[FYI, the sign says "Closed For Storm." And, can't Dan Snyder do any better than this?]

Smells Like Poison

Yes, Bret Michaels is as greasy and make-upy in person as he is on TV. Just this week, everyone's fave 80s hair-band rocker was at the Cable Show, looking for new "contestants" for his show. Oops, I mean greeting hordes of adoring ladies -- and groping everyone of them (OK, well, maybe it was just deep hugging). I asked my coworker in this picture (I cropped her out with my excellent photo-editing skillz to protect the innocent) if Bret smelled, and she noted that she didn't sniff him. If you look closely, you will see armpit stains, just proving that he just seems like a dude who would be a little un-fresh.

[Thank you, A.S., for waiting in a long line to meet Bret, and sharing the photo.]

For the Love of Larry

Down here in New Orleans at the Cable Show, I've certainly seen my share of interesting personalities. Among the celebs appearing were Glenn Close, Dan Rather, and some other peeps that are surely nice and accomplished professionals. And then we got down to the real celebs like Larry Flynt, the Kardashians and everyone's fave member of Poison, Bret Michaels! Larry rolls around in the Hustler booth, complete with plastic Hustler babes, in his wheelchair. He may be plastic-free, but his hair is dyed a funky fake color. Maybe one day he'll take it all off in the name of cable tv. We can all dream.

Pizza-r Beer!

Since I normally post about food and booze it seems, perhaps I've found the food that ties both together. Yes, its Pizza Beer (or as my Long Island friend would say, pizza-r beer), a real product from some dude who wanted to add tomatoes, garlic and basil to everyone's favorite hoppy, yeasty liquid.

While it is only available online or in southern Illinois stores, I just might resist the shipping charges (and calories) to get some in my belly. I'm open to a lot of weird food, but this is perhaps where the line should be drawn.

We Also Heart Bacon Choco!

It is about time I helped out my Blog Buddy and posted something, so I thought I'd report on a find I found in the Whole Foods near the Franklin Institute in motownphilly ("Boyz 2 Men, ABC, BBD -- the east coast family...") the other day. I'm pretty sure Elle was the first to introduce me to the idea of this before, but this was my first opportunity to experience it firsthand -- bacon infused chocolate.

Had to try it. And hard as it may be to believe, 4 out of 4 Olney residents agree it tastes dreamy. A wonder combo of sweet and salty. And the tender bacon bits (not Bacos, mind you) dance on your toungue with more abandon than David Gregory dancing on the Today Show set.

We Heart Curling

While you may know my affinity for ice/snow/chilly sports, few may know that I spent many hours watching curling during the 2006 Olympics. I literally was late for work everyday because I was home watching curling (no lie, it was on in the mornings). And Bruiser is also an enthusiast, having actually gone to a curling open practice!

Well, apparently curling will be coming to primetime TV in 2009 via "Rockstar Curling," a new reality show looking for the USA's next curling star. Celebrities (including secret curling lovers Jon Bon Jovi and Bruce Springsteen) are being recruited to participate, or act as hosts.

For more important details, check out this Salon story and an item from EngadgetHD.

This show pretty much rules. Although to be honest, I'd prefer "Rockstar Ice Dancing." Way more sexy!

Casa de Yummy

I'm perplexed why people would name their business "Yummy House." But yes, this is a real photo, of a real place, taken near Tybee Island, Georgia.  Since this was likely a Chinese restaurant, I hope "yummy" translates to something that is more meaningful in Chinese.

Big TV for Big Election

Since it is Potomac - Chesapeake - StatesCaughtintheMiddle Primary Day, I figured there was no better way to celebrate this festive day than to ponder watching the election results on a 150 inch TV. What do the candidates look like when life size? Is Rev. Huckabee even scarier as he shares his brand evil with the world? Do you fear that Walnuts is verbally threatening you while sitting on the couch?

Debuted earlier this year at CES, the 150 inch TV is a beacon of hope for the future regardless of who wins the primary. This TV is even more amazing for the fair town of Washington, as it is probably bigger than the recently shuttered Dupont Circle craphole movie theaters!

And for those outside of DC that don't give a shiz, this TV might be perfect for watching WWE RAW on Telemundo.

Bacon Vodka - A Dream of Others

I feel like I'm talking about bacon all the time now. Strangely, I'm not even a bacon lover. Regardless, here's a tidbit about BACON VODKA dedicated to those who love bacon (my many friends) and those who love vodka (me). Since I'm an avid flavored-vodka creator, I know what gift the bacon lovers in my life will soon receive. I'll let them ponder how to use this in a cocktail.

Chicken Fried Yum

As an homage to my many bacon-obsessed friends, the wonders of fried food, and my own love of Texas, I give you chicken fried bacon from Texas. For those unfamiliar with the term "chicken fried," it essentially means that the item is made like fried chicken, or coated with a flour batter of sorts and fried. Texans, likely bored with simply grilling up a steak, have made the "chicken fried steak," served with a side of white gravy, an integral part of Texas culinary traditions.

That brings us to this video, telling the wonderous story of chicken fried bacon. Watch and enjoy. I think Anthony Bourdain would be proud of this. Travel Channel execs, please take note (and include me on this shoot if you go). And thanks, John.

Pull up a POÄNG and have a listen...

...to this crazy tale of a nutter living in the IKEA in Paramus, NJ this week. Is this performance art? Hope he doesn't OD on lingonberry drink.



Heck, anything is better than watching Hulk Hogan's bastardization of American Gladiators. He took something that was beautiful and turned it into network TV schlock. A travesty.

The Journal Junction

It's always fun to step outta the "big city" into a small town and read the local newspaper. Sophisticated journalism and general copy editing are typically tossed aside in favor of local gossip (in the form of police reports) and the readers' own thoughts. It's fun, yet disturbing, to read a paper like this since I wonder why newsprint is wasted for such garbage.

Anyway, to tease you bit, here are some recent gems from the "Journal Junction" section of WV's The Journal newspaper:

"“Friggin’” is a word that is ... used to denote that the object of the statement is true in the extreme, and often, that it is negative ... It is based on an understood mispronounciation of “freaking,” which carries the same meaning, i.e. “My neighbor has six freaking cars on his lawn.” It is understood the neighbor has six cars on his lawn, and that this is considered a bad thing."

"To the caller who doesn’t like sweat pants on people over 30: Well, I am over 50 and overweight. I like to wear my sweat pants, because they are comfortable, and they are warm. I encourage people like me to keep on, baby. That’s why we live in the U.S.A. I even think I wore bedroom slippers to Wal-Mart one day when I forgot to wear my shoes!"

Essentially, people call or write the paper with their thoughts on anything, and the paper actually prints these items (no, they are not just posted on the web site). If people see an item one day and want to comment, they write back via this section. It's a community dialogue!

For a giggle, visit the Journal Junction and be sure you click on the "Full Story" link to see all the entries from a given day.

International Man of Snoot

I just returned from abroad with this little nugget of humor. It isn't a typical souvenir, but rather an amusing tidbit of an egotistical and haughty fellow countryman.

Story: I met this gentleman in a wine tasting room. He gave me "his card" following tales of living on two continents and wanting to start a business. I almost guffawed in his face when I read his official (and obviously self-given) title.

What to note: Yes, the guy spells the word "connoisseur" in the French way for some unknown (but likely uppity) reason. Surprisingly, he never explained what he is a "connaisseur" (to use his spelling) of! My perverted mind has filed a mental list of possibilities.

What you can't see: The gentleman has phone numbers on three continents (two of the numbers are on the back of the card) and an e-mail address clearly exclaiming "I not just an international man of snootiness, but I went to a damn good school too!"

[Card details blurred to protect the privacy. I feel so kind now.]

Furry wrestling from outer space (in an outer borough)

So I attended my second ever live Kaiju wrestling event on Friday night and enjoyed it thoroughly. You may recall I posted on this phenomenon a while back. This most recent event was certainly no let down. Not only did I get to see a space bug beat up a guy dressed as a dust bunny, but I also witnessed a hybrid octopus-boulder defeat a giant waffle. And to top it all off, I saw two titles change hands. Truly a historic night.

The venue was nearly as much fun as the event. The Warsaw in Brooklyn doubles as the "Polish National Home." I'm not sure what that means, but I do know they serve a nice kielbasa in a delicious roll (not quite Amaroso, but nearly as tasty). And I now have a new favorite Polish beer -- Zywiec.

Deer on Crack

I have a special place in my heart for the "grittier" cities of America (Detroit not included in this happy feeling, of course). Nothing sums up the grittiest of American towns -- Baltimore -- than a recent quote from famed filmmaker (and lifelong Baltimorean John Waters). While in a bar in his hometown, Waters asked a guy what he did for a living. The guy responded, "Can I be frank? I trade deer meat for crack."

Obviously this quote conjures up numerous thoughts:
- Do crack dealers or crackheads have a penchant for venison?
- Does crack cause people to want deer meat?
- Are there markets for other meats when trading in animals and crack?
- Does he use the crack or sell it again for more profits?
- Do people give deer any crack before they are killed?

I think this deserves a read of the whole article. And of course, a viewing of John Waters most underrated flick (and my personal fave), Pecker.