Wonders of the Far East Part 2 - Alternative Sports

I was waiting for a train last week and had a great epiphany when I saw this sign...rather than do something routine like join a softball or kickball league (kickball? tres passe!), I am now putting an official shout out for members of the first Save the Squared Stage goldfish scooping team!!!

Now, you may be saying to yourself, "Bruiser, isn't goldfish scooping a singles sport?" Heck, no! The more the merrier. Those goldfish can get feisty! You're gonna want a team member to watch your back when the competition gets fierce!

Who's in? I think this event even doubles as an olympic qualifier...

Wonders of the Far East Part 1 - Cultural Diplomacy

Following a long-standing tradition of only exporting the finest American product to our friends in Asia, the United States is now responsible for introducing the Japanese to none other than Billy Blanks. Who, you ask? None other than that psycho-looking fellow who peddles tae-bo and boot camp-themed workout videos on informercials.

Billy was the theme of many a conversation I had with the locals in the past two weeks, whether they were commenting on how funny Billy's Japanese-dubbed voice is, his visit to Tokyo, or how they haven't yet developed Billy-esque abs despite daily viewings of the DVDs (yes, I actually know someone who bought these DVDs; but, heck, I also know someone who swears by the Magic Bullet).


Perhaps this is part of a new soft power diplomacy strategy by Karen Hughes to win the hearts and minds of our foreign allies.

The Philly Taco!

Just for Bruiser, a true blue Philadelphian, I bring you the Philly Taco! Bruiser and I share a deep love of Ishkabibble's, the fine cheesesteak institution that plays a big role in creating this special taco (make sure you read how this is created). Normally, I would consider bastardizing a REAL Philly cheesesteak as a horrific crime. However, since I love pizza so much (and Philly is a very under-rated pizza town), I'll let this fine concoction live free. I can't wait to get back to Philly...

Do You Have Airness?

While Bruiser is far, far away in the foreign land of sushi and Engrish, I'm the uniblogger. I know he's sad that he missed the Washington, DC debut of the U.S. Air Guitar Championships. And no, I'm not making that up...

Air guitar broke out last year with little known documentary "Air Guitar Nation" chronicling a small group of dreamers in the barely existent U.S. Air Guitar Championships with the hope of reaching the international air guitar crown in Oulu, Finland. Two men were pitted against each other...C Diddy, a fake samurai who wears a Hello Kitty chest armor and Bjorn Turoque, a scrappy New Yorker with a most excellent stage name. (FYI - DVD comes out in August and it is a must rent.)

Back to DC...hosted by infamous air guitarer Bjorn Turoque, one of the regional competitions came to a sold-out 9:30 club last week before trekking to eight other cities around the country. An urban cowboy, a military man, an ancient philospher and some other generally weird characters competed for the Mid-Atlantic crown. Round one was a musical selection by the competitor; round two was a secret selection by the air guitar governing body. The guitarer with the most "airness" wins (see movie to full understand that concept). At the end of the show the entire crowd air guitared together.

One last thought...we cannot forget the political side of air guitar (especially for a DCite like myself). Air guitar aims for peace, because if you are holding an air guitar, you can't be holding a gun at the same time. As they say in the movie "make air, not war." Think on that for a minute...those are deep words for world peace.

(Photo courtesy of svetlana80 on Flickr since I'm an idiot and forgot my camera.)

Odd State of Affairs

Nothing says "it's the night before a wedding" than chilling at an uber-smokey bar with a pregnant waitress selling test tube shooters! Yeah, this really happened in a small, central Pennsylvania town. I won't guess the kind of alcohol in her colorful test tube shooters distributed to the tunes of Bon Jovi and AC/DC. I fear it involved Everclear.

Sadly missing from this photo is a customer sporting matching, orange-sized tattoos on ther "upper boob-le area." I guess you could say it was an unforgettable night.

Video game reviews-better late than never

My addiction this past weekend has been the Angry Video Game Nerd. This dude (who must live in a Philly suburb based on his references to Vitamin Y as a "local brew" and posters in his room from classic rock station WYSP) has taken the time to review a bunch of crap old NES/Atari/Sega games. He's foul mouthed, crude, and pretty darn funny.

I think my favorites are his reviews of:

• A series of Bible-themed games;
• Spiderman-themed games (in this video you see Spidey downing a Yuengling!);
• A McDonalds themed game.
  

Drunken Gossip

In the vein of gossipy newspaper columns...What former head of the Christian Coalition was spotted this week looking overtly over-cocktailed? His flushed face apparently didn't fool anyone who saw him. I wonder what his former followers would think of him now?

I *Heart* the New Scott Stapp

American Idol really changes people. In fact, I think there are levels of transformation. Example A: Chris Daughtry. Last evening in Vegas, Mr. Daughtry was full-on rock star with heavy eyeliner and a heavy rocker attitude. The guy who worked at Jiffy Lube has transformed himself from the AI rocker and now into super rocker. Frankly, his demonstration last evening made me think he's been watching too many Creed videos...

This panda needs some Claritin

Sorta like how I feel today. Damn pollen.

TV Shows on DVD

Big news this week about TV shows coming out on DVD. One of my favorite web sites -- tvshowsondvd.com -- just ran a story about "My So Called Life" *finally* appearing on DVD. While I'll have to wait until fall for the set, I'll be pleased as punch to see Jared Leto when he was still hot. Ahh...those were the days. In the meantime for your viewing plesure, "90210 - The Second Season" just came out on DVD yesterday. So for those without expanded cable and access to SoapNet, Dylan can certainly fill in until fall.

[I know, I know...this post wasn't funny or silly. But I contend it is newsworthy and helpful, and I'm just trying to keep things fresh.]

Holy Hip-hop

Although I was originally directed by a fellow dork to this site today, I found the above gem just one click away. It is a little long, but endearing.

Who knew there were so many knock-off Sir Mix-a-lot songs out there?

I'm Just Buzzed

This video easily lands in the top 5 best Internet videos ever created. Words cannot express how amused I am at this, so please, watch the video. Thanks to my SIL for sharing ;)

Only in WV...

So a felon was hiding from the po-po in a Porto-Potty! This is no joke. I only wish they had to tip the skanky pot over to get him out.

Not Aliens...But Spaceports!

Book your plane tix now, a "spaceport" is soon to be built in Las Cruces, New Mexico. As my friend just noted, "Perhaps they can build a stable for Unicorns next."

Drinkin' Time

Ahh college...gone are the days of drinking Koolaid and vodka at any hour of the day. How I yearn for such a carefree existence. Anywhodle, a coworker directed me to this fine video of college hijinx. One should appreciate the coordination of the students that made this video possible and amusing -- especially since coordination is typically not a subject where college students excel. I applaud the kids' effort, and for doing something besides having toweled males and females walk in and out of co-ed bathrooms to freak out parents (like certain students at certain colleges excelled at doing)...

Graffiti No Longer Entertains Masses

The Internet Age has really zapped people's creativity, hasn't it? Even graffitied bus stop signage is no longer interesting or funny. Rather, it's just strange. Example: this sign from a DC metro area bus stop. If I were going to toy with a Google sign, researching "cross-dresser midget porn," "furry porn" or "jello porn" would be way more entertaining, and way more inventive, than this silly crap.

The Vodka Project: Take Four

Another weekend and another round of vodka tasting. We sipped two of the very few American-made vodkas -- Tito's Handmade (an Austin, TX pot-still vodka) and Hangar One (a young Cali vodka born in 2001) -- versus Chopin, a traditional Polish potato vodka.

As in previous tastings, we tasted each vodka straight up with an ice cube, with soda, and in a mixed cocktail (a lemonade-chambord cocktail as in previous rounds). Two females and one male got drunk, er, um, I mean tasted with much thought and commentary.

Winner of the night: Hangar One
We didn't expect it, but the the sweetness of this vodka straight up and with soda won over our small crowd. All three tasters ranked this vodka tops in the three categories, with us especially enjoying this vodka mixed with soda.

Loser of the night: Chopin
While not as bad as some previous vodkas we've tasted (vodkas that shall remain nameless), this tater tot-based vodka was not a favorite. One taster noted this vodka "smelled faintly of a public restroom" and another said "this isn't as good as mashed potatoes." With comments like this, no wonder there is no deep love.

Overall, Hangar One is a reliable choice in your next bar setting. Tito's Homemade was noted to be a smooth and decent vodka, but if you have a choice, ask for Hangar One.

Note to readers: after we make it through the mainstream vodkas you see at your local bar, we'll be doing a "championship round." Don't miss it -- this really is a public service!

Snakes on a TV

This makes me laugh no matter how many times I listen to it.

This poor SF Chronicle subscriber just wants to watch Nancy Grace, but all he can find on Channel 57 are "some dumb snakes crawling all over the television when it is time to go to bed." Huh??? Plus he missed Geraldo?!? I'd be upset, too!

Morning Stank

Yeah, here we are again with another food-related gadget, but at least this time it's unique, useful and zany. Here we have the "Wake 'n Bacon," a devilish device that awakes sleeping beauties with the aroma of a cooking cured pork product. Pretty funny, huh? Well, this is just a prototype, as the inventor-in-chief is looking for a manufacturer, so don't rush out with your gold card just yet.

Honoring a Great Man

It's a sad day. The inventor of the TV remote control died today. This man was truly a patriot. When TV was in its earliest (and obviously crappiest) stages, he toiled long hours so that millions around the world could sit on their collective asses and and bask in the glow of television. In 1956 when the Zenith Space Command remote control was debuted, did he imagine the almost 400 channels that are available today? I'm guessing not. Frankly, in my book, he stands next to the inventor of TV as one of the world's greatest people ever.