Special Plates Are Too Wiggy

This may truly be the most unique custom license plate in America....the "Square Dancer" plate, available to all you West Virginians out there. I thought Nascar plates, or a bowler plate (for real - this does exist), was funny, but nothing is quite as bizarre as this. Don't ya love the flowy skirt image? Next time I register a car in WV, I'm getting a fun plate like this.

Happy Halloween! But what to wear?!?

Inspired by Elle's post last week about folks selling Halloween costumes for iPods on the Internet, I decided to dress up my little friends for a little trick-or-treat action this holiday season. But I'm cheap, so we've opted to make homemade costumes over paying for those overpriced fancy-pants ensembles. Here is our first attempt -- Shuffie and Big Boy as Jessica and Ashlee Simpson.

Do let me know if you have any other fun suggestions for the kids.

Not Neo-Olsens, But Real Neo-Nazis

No, these chicks aren't the Olsen twins' younger sisters. They are more like evil twins. For your daily piece of disturbing information, check out this article about two freaky 13 year olds who are singing about white supremacy. Brainwashed by their evil parents, they make records singing about how the white race needs protecting. I'm sure it won't surprise you that they are home schooled (I will not even go on a tirade about that today...). And I'm sure it won't surprise any of us when they turn to the dark side one day and become hoochies.

Anyway, this is just what pop music needs (note my sarcastic tone). If I ever hear these fools on the radio, I will immediately run out and buy an Ashlee Simpson album, because although she is annoying, she is not spreading hate.

Are Ipods the New Pet?

I'm the first to admit that my friendly Apple iBook G4 is my pet. I'm allergic to cats, dogs and probably bunnies, so my happy little reliable laptop will have to remain as my only pet. Well, its seems that other people think their iPod is a pet, as the latest craze in iPod accouterments are costumes. Yes, there is a new web site devoted to Halloween (and other holiday) costumes for iPods. Gadgets and silly stuff is all fun and games, but dressing an iPod is far worse than dressing a dog (which of course has its own ridiculous quality too). Anyway, if you are looking for a Christmas present for someone who really has everything, maybe this is a site for you. And Bruiser, I know Shuffie woulda really liked to have been a pirate...

2006 Olympics Here We Come!

Bruiser and I are jazzed for the 2006 Olympic hockey tryouts. While Bruiser explored the U.S. curling circuit (for real!), he determined that a sport using a broom on ice just wasn't for him. And I just couldn't muster up enough fake emotions, or brightly colored sequined outfits, to continue any further on the ice dancing circuit. So, these "challenges" have brought us to the two-person team mini hockey competition. While we expect tough battles from the Kyrgykstan and Oman national teams, we believe our training and ample match play will be tough to beat.

Bork Didn't Bork Us

Last week, I had the "pleasure" of being wined and dined (or really, not wined enough) at National Review's 50th Anniversary party. Donning the requisite "Republican" pearls, and accompanied by a dashing Vivian Kensington, I was happy to gawk at many famous members of the dastardly party, including: the bombastic Rush Limbaugh, the psuedo-aristocratic William F. Buckley, the villainous Brett Bozell, George W's master of messed up words -- speechwriter Michael Gerson, Bob "Dr. Evil" Novak, and Sen. Joe Lieberman (who I'm sure turned over his Dem credentials as soon as the 2000 election was called to a halt).

What Republican church revival event would be complete without a "celebrity"? So, to make my night complete (since they clearly didn't tell the wait staff to pour guests enough wine), Vivian pleaded with me to get a picture alongside the infamously rejected Robert Bork. Poor guy seems to have aged without his scraggly goatee. I'm just sad that I wasn't intoxicated enough to get my own picture with an anti-celebrity.

Tony Danza Bonanza, indeed!

How’s this for a way to celebrate Columbus Day? As I was walking home from the dry cleaners yesterday I nearly tripped over Tony f’n Danza on my block! Ay oh, oh ay!

This is huge! I mean, this man wields such power that he has starred in at least 3 sitcoms as characters named “Tony” and helmed not one, but TWO shows titled “The Tony Danza Show”! (According to IMDB, he also served as executive producer for some TV movie called “Sudden Terror: The Hijacking of School Bus #17”, but I don’t remember that one.)

Why NYC chose Antonin Scalia and not Mr. Danza as their Italian-American rep to grand marshall the Columbus Day Parade, I’ll never understand.

To try to make up for this slight, I hereby dedicate today’s STSS post to Anthony Salvatore Iadanza. Thanks for making TV worth watching, Ton’!

Even Hobos Like National Parks

Ahh…I have returned from my busy travels in the American Southwest. There is much red rock, canyons and open spaces as you travel from Vegas to Utah to Arizona. It’s certainly a different world from the busy, tree-lined, coastal feel of the East Coast.

But people change when they wander away from home. I found Paulette Bonafonte taking up a hobo way of life at Bryce Canyon National Park in Utah. However, Paulette had to drink many, many beers out of a paper bag to pass out, as Utah beer can have no more than 4% alcohol. We determined that not only is 4% alcohol beer stupid, but it also tastes bad too. We deserve better from Orrin Hatch.

Multiple Wives Scare Me

I, Elle Woods, have been criss-crossing America's great Southwest during the past week, hitting places such as Las Vegas, the Grand Canyon, and Colorado City, Arizona. While I've missed blogging the past few days (Internet access hasn't swept the Southwest like it has in our nation's cities), I did get the pleasure of seeing my first polygamist community. YAY! It's quiet nature on a late Saturday morning and strangely sizeable houses led us (myself and traveling companion, Paulette Bonafonte) to become suspicious of what this town in the middle of nowhere was about. After a brief search upon our return to civiliation, we found that Colorado City, Arizona, is a famous polygamist community. I wish I had the chutzpah to knock on a random door and see a real-life polygamist family up close, but alas, I'm a wuss.

And don't worry, you'll get to hear (and maybe see) more Southwest adventures in upcoming days...