Wonders of the Far East Part 2 - Alternative Sports

I was waiting for a train last week and had a great epiphany when I saw this sign...rather than do something routine like join a softball or kickball league (kickball? tres passe!), I am now putting an official shout out for members of the first Save the Squared Stage goldfish scooping team!!!

Now, you may be saying to yourself, "Bruiser, isn't goldfish scooping a singles sport?" Heck, no! The more the merrier. Those goldfish can get feisty! You're gonna want a team member to watch your back when the competition gets fierce!

Who's in? I think this event even doubles as an olympic qualifier...

Wonders of the Far East Part 1 - Cultural Diplomacy

Following a long-standing tradition of only exporting the finest American product to our friends in Asia, the United States is now responsible for introducing the Japanese to none other than Billy Blanks. Who, you ask? None other than that psycho-looking fellow who peddles tae-bo and boot camp-themed workout videos on informercials.

Billy was the theme of many a conversation I had with the locals in the past two weeks, whether they were commenting on how funny Billy's Japanese-dubbed voice is, his visit to Tokyo, or how they haven't yet developed Billy-esque abs despite daily viewings of the DVDs (yes, I actually know someone who bought these DVDs; but, heck, I also know someone who swears by the Magic Bullet).


Perhaps this is part of a new soft power diplomacy strategy by Karen Hughes to win the hearts and minds of our foreign allies.

The Philly Taco!

Just for Bruiser, a true blue Philadelphian, I bring you the Philly Taco! Bruiser and I share a deep love of Ishkabibble's, the fine cheesesteak institution that plays a big role in creating this special taco (make sure you read how this is created). Normally, I would consider bastardizing a REAL Philly cheesesteak as a horrific crime. However, since I love pizza so much (and Philly is a very under-rated pizza town), I'll let this fine concoction live free. I can't wait to get back to Philly...

Do You Have Airness?

While Bruiser is far, far away in the foreign land of sushi and Engrish, I'm the uniblogger. I know he's sad that he missed the Washington, DC debut of the U.S. Air Guitar Championships. And no, I'm not making that up...

Air guitar broke out last year with little known documentary "Air Guitar Nation" chronicling a small group of dreamers in the barely existent U.S. Air Guitar Championships with the hope of reaching the international air guitar crown in Oulu, Finland. Two men were pitted against each other...C Diddy, a fake samurai who wears a Hello Kitty chest armor and Bjorn Turoque, a scrappy New Yorker with a most excellent stage name. (FYI - DVD comes out in August and it is a must rent.)

Back to DC...hosted by infamous air guitarer Bjorn Turoque, one of the regional competitions came to a sold-out 9:30 club last week before trekking to eight other cities around the country. An urban cowboy, a military man, an ancient philospher and some other generally weird characters competed for the Mid-Atlantic crown. Round one was a musical selection by the competitor; round two was a secret selection by the air guitar governing body. The guitarer with the most "airness" wins (see movie to full understand that concept). At the end of the show the entire crowd air guitared together.

One last thought...we cannot forget the political side of air guitar (especially for a DCite like myself). Air guitar aims for peace, because if you are holding an air guitar, you can't be holding a gun at the same time. As they say in the movie "make air, not war." Think on that for a minute...those are deep words for world peace.

(Photo courtesy of svetlana80 on Flickr since I'm an idiot and forgot my camera.)

Odd State of Affairs

Nothing says "it's the night before a wedding" than chilling at an uber-smokey bar with a pregnant waitress selling test tube shooters! Yeah, this really happened in a small, central Pennsylvania town. I won't guess the kind of alcohol in her colorful test tube shooters distributed to the tunes of Bon Jovi and AC/DC. I fear it involved Everclear.

Sadly missing from this photo is a customer sporting matching, orange-sized tattoos on ther "upper boob-le area." I guess you could say it was an unforgettable night.